I'm not sure if this should be on the mental health board or not. But I'm just so tired.
My youngest has a serious health problem, has spent some months in hospital and needs to return soon for further invasive treatment. The condition was diagnosed antenatally but with a prognosis of one op and it will be fixed, she had that, it didn't work, so she had another, it didn't work, so they tried something else, and aborted under general anesthetic due to risks, they tried something else, same story, the next try is a bigger deal, more risk and will cause problems even if successful which will require further, invasive procedures throughout her life.
Because we know she is going in we have been advised to keep her and her siblings away from groups due to the high level of chicken pox in our area, if either comes into contact with it they will postpone the op. They are missing all their friends. It's hard being at home with the kids and keeping them entertained.
At gosh last time I had a helpful chat with a member of the psychology team, so thought I'd find help closer to home. Everyone I have tried has been full.
My youngest wakes around 5 tines a night. She will be in recovery, probably intensive care on her 1st birthday. My husband will be staying with her in gosh, my parents will have our eldest to stay, we will likely be away for her birthday as well, for the second year running.
Im an emotional eater and have put on 2 stone. I feel out of control and a little lost as well as weary. I need to be at full strength to support my baby. I'm just not sure how to get there.
Sorry if this is really long, I think I just needed to vent and maybe a hand hold.