What are you supposed to do when you want to kill yourself

[PleaseDontGoadTheToad]

but you know you can't actually do it?

I constantly feel anxious and on edge and I feel like I need to do something, anything, to get out but at the same time death scares me.

How can I be scared to die but want to die at the same time?

Have you spoken to anyone? Doctor? Family?

I felt like this for a long time, I convinced myself it was normal, then I made my mind up to speak to a doctor, managed to get therapy and cbt. It's been a long tough road, but I finally feel 'settled'.

It was never a case of I'm going to kill myself, but it was always I wish I could If that makes sense?

If you need to talk I'm always around.

Talk to your doctor love, these feelings aren't that uncommon and they will know how best to advise you

I couldn't talk to DP about this because I don't know how to explain it and it doesn't make sense. I do see a counsellor though so perhaps I could bring it up next session?

Even now I am awake but I am itching to get out of my body and just not be me.

Breathe.

Really. Deep breaths. For as long as it takes to let the panicky feeling subside and help you feel a little calmer.

Then consider your next move. Do you have anyone IRL you could talk to? Sending a because it's a horrible feeling. But you can get through it.

Yes please mention it.

Do you have a pattern to these thoughts? Are they triggered by anything?

Please keep talking, and I hope you know a lot of people have felt like this, you're not alone

I know how you feel. I was going to make my own post, but will tag on to yours, if you don't mind. When I go to the doc they just recommend CBT or antidepressants. I feel like I need more concrete help with practical problems which are triggering traumatic feelings from childhood...so maybe some sort of psychotherapy? I need more than the sort of counselling where they 'just listen'. When you are unemployed and depressed the cycle just gets worse and worse and I don't see any support out there until its Samaritins time... I am sorry if this hasn't helped or it looks like I might be sidetracking your post...I just thought we were in a similar boat and people on here might have practical advice that would work for both of us (and others reading).

I suggest taking part in individual sports, it is very therapeutic. I have taken part in lots of research about this :)

bluemermaid - this is true, physical activity is what is keeping me going right now. i feel like i need more than that though

Tell someone

Get meds if you don't have them already

Look after yourself - fresh air, plenty of water, exercise, good food

💐

Hi PleaseDontGoadTheToad,

We're so sorry to hear you are feeling this way.

We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources. You can also go to the Samaritans website, or email them on [email protected]. Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek RL help and support as well.

We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.

Very best wishes from all at MNHQ

How are you feeling today OP?

A lot better thanks but dreading later tonight. I always seem to only get this way when everyone else is asleep but I can't sleep

Yeah I get that. I have trouble sleeping and it can seem lonely. Keep chatting it it helps