So I have posted about this before but things haven’t got any better and now I don’t know if I can carry on much longer.
I’ve always been very shy but always a very happy person but for the last week I’ve had a very sudden but deep depression. I really have nothing to complain about as I have a very carefree life (I’m 28 and still living with my parents as I lost my job 18 months ago) but even before then I just love them so much I could never bare to leave 🙄 I know what you’re thinking but I’m not lazy I just want to be with them. My mum said it will change when I meet someone but I’m not sure I’ve had a few boyfriends one serious who actually did ask me to move it but I was 24 and just couldn’t do it then we broke up. I don’t have a single friend in this world except my mum and I’ve always been ok with that up until now where I seem to have fallen in a dark whole and can’t get out. I’ve had terrible nightmares about my mum dying since I found out her best friend has cancer and 6 weeks to live. my mum had me older at 43 so she’s now 72 and all I think about is losing her which is silly as she acts as if she’s 50 and still works full time but I just can’t stop. Today I was supposed to get some shopping while she was at work but I sat in the car park for half an hour sort of frozen and unable to move anyway I forced myself out the car but just sort of wondered around Tesco in a daze then tears started rolling down my face but I have no idea why I’m not a crying sort of person but I carried on crying all the way home. I know no one wants to get older but I feel like I will never be ready. Any advice?