Is this PND?

[sleepymama157]

I generally feel okay. Maybe a bit tired but I have two boys aged 2.5yrs and 5m. My youngest has only just started sleeping a bit better.

I don't really feel a bond with my youngest. I care for him, cuddle him when he cries but I just don't feel the same overwhelming love that I do for my oldest. Being honest sometimes I feel like my youngest has came along and ruined everything, even though he was planned and very much wanted.

I never want to be without him and I know things will get easier (or more manageable) as he gets bigger and settles in to the family more.

It's just a feeling I have. I don't feel overly down. I do feel life is a bit boring and repetitive at times - but that's kind of normal I'd imagine with a small child. I do make a point of going out every morning so my eldest can get out in the fresh air and I visit family etc and enjoy this.

I have great support. My husband is fantastic and family live quite close.

I just feel guilty and such a horrible person. I know I love him. I never want to be without him. But I want to bond and love him so much I cry. I want to love him like I love my first born but it's not happened yet.

I've already been to GP and going back tomorrow too. Just not sure what to think.

Your experience sounds a lot like my experience with pnd. Mine reached a peak around 5 months, up until then I had just felt numb and overwhelmed as I was running a business alongside newborn and 4yr old. But at 5 months I had 2 very very low points which scared me, and I sought help. Baby is now 8 months and I feel a huge amount of love and our bond is great. I do still have wobbles but I do feel better week on week. You're doing the right thing seeing your gp. They will help and you will feel better, I promise.

Many thanks @DavidGandyfanclubpresident saw GP yesterday and got a plan in place so feeling a lot more positive already. Thanks again for your kind reply and I'm so glad you're enjoying your little 8mo x