Please help. I am so sad, I barely sleep, I eat too much. I don't take care of my appearance, never wear makeup, brush my hair with minimal effort so it's still messy and tangled. I am seriously overweight and so tired. I really need to snap out of it but can't.
But yet I have lovely children, a DH, a roof over my head, food on the table and a stable job.
I know the problems are all mine. I'm stupid and a useless mother. I just need some time away from everyone but I can't have 5 minutes. My children constantly follow me around, even to the bathroom sometimes. I know I need to be harder on them. DH tells me I should tell them to go away lke he does but I can't because I know they need to talk to me or need me to help them.
I don't have any friends at all. I have no-one I can call up and talk to about my problems. I can't discuss anything with my family, they would just laugh at me. The closest thing I have to a friend is a nice woman I sit next to at work.
I don't go out often, if I do it's usually a work do. I went out 3 times last year because DH was kind enough to look after the children but I couldn't relax because I know when I get home I have to get the children ready for bed.
I have been diagnosed with anxiety in the past so I suspect this is behind my feelings.
I just want to get away from everything. Sometimes I fantasize about being a lesbian and the nice woman at work whisking me away, but she's happily married.
I know that all sounds a bit weird but I can't understand what's going on in my head. I know it's all my fault.
Sorry that was a bit long. I just needed to get some things off my chest. I have never discussed any of this with anyone before.