Fears about depression

[LadyBunnysWig]

I think I need to finally seek help for my problems. I feel like I am suffering with depression.
I have been to some very dark places in my mind and have considered the possibility that my family would benefit from my leaving them. I'm worth more to them dead than alive.
I feel like a total and utter failure and it's really starting to have an impact on family life and general mental health. I can't go out the house without visualising horrific accidents happening to me and my family, especially my son. He's 1.

I want to seek help but I'm terrified that my baby will be taken from me. I'm scared about what may happen.

Can someone advise me what may happen if I do seek help?

Bump?

Hiya. Firstly, you are absolutely essential to your family, no matter what you think. Secondly, I honestly can't imagine they would take your baby from you if you seek help - many many people with mental health issues have kids and raise them just as well as anyone else.

I imagine what would happen when you seek help is that you go to your GP (ask for an urgent appointment) and explain how you feel (print out your post above if you feel you won't know what to say). They offer to put you on a waiting list for counselling/therapy (may be months away, but you might as well get on the list) and they offer you medication in the meantime (or you ask if they don't suggest it). You try the medication, and hopefully within a few weeks you start to feel better. The medication takes a while to work, so just get through things one day, one hour, one minute at a time until then. And you come back here whenever you need a hand-hold, because there are loads of us who've been there done that and know how grim mental health issues are.

I've been in some pretty shit mental places (anxiety) and I'm not there now - there is light at the end of the tunnel I promise

Thank you so much for replying.

I try to be logical about it and understand that I am needed and it's just the depression (?) talking.

I am genuinely terrified that they may take him away, and then I do try to remember that there are people with MH issues who have children. I suppose this is symptomatic of depression? To think the worst?

No worries at all :)

It is absolutely just the depression talking - it's what it does, it tells you that you don't matter and that the worst will happen. In reality you matter enormously, your family would be bereft without you, and generally the worst that happens is admin and taxes and everyone getting the flu all at once over Christmas. They're not going to take him away, because being with you is what he needs - you're his mum, and once you seek help, you're going to be a happier and healthier mum.