Simple as the title really. Have spent the past few weeks in a blur of feeling numb, sobbing, being anxious and just generally feeling like I need to accept this is how life will be now.
I’ve suffered from depression before and it was always fairly easy to spot when my MH was declining, I’d approach the GP and get some help but this time it feels pointless because nothing will change. I’m raising a beautiful child whose behaviour is so challenging I now spend my days walking on eggshells and trying to not trigger an epic meltdown. They have very complex SEN and so caring for them is very full on as it is, average 3-4hrs broken sleep a night and then all waking time is spent trying to keep them calm and happy. I’ve done endless research on their condition and have requested assistance and suggestions from their health professionals but their age means there is little they can do currently except advise me to “ ride it out”.
I spend most of my days now getting shouted at, yelled at, spat at and then trying to console a child who is terrified of their own actions and doesn’t understand why they feel like they do 
my heart honestly breaks for them, I know it’s not deliberate.
Either way, I thought I’d come seek some comfort here in this area of MN before I spiral any further.
< rather unmumsnetty hugs all round >