Psychiatrist yawning - help me rationalise please!

[TreacleFarl]

I've had to name change and hopefully it works as this is very outing.

I've been in such a low place recently, really low. I've tried to take my mind off things with MN etc but have struggled with depression for years. I haven't felt this bad in a long time. The only thing getting me through lately has been my DS and the fact that I knew I had a psych. appointment coming where I could tell a psychiatrist that I'm struggling to be here some days.

During the appointment I was telling the psychiatrist just how bad things are at the minute and that the days I don't want to be here are steadily outnumbering the days that I do. I won't go into detail but it was very emotional. Then looked up to see the psych leaning slightly back with mouth wide open yawning. It just made me feel like shit and that actually, I was right. No-one does care and my problems are boring. It wasn't even the yawn really but that there was no attempt to cover the mouth or do it discreetly.

At another point I was told 'Yeah, well you know that's not true', with a bit of a laugh when talking about how I always feel people don't like me. It made everything seem so trivial.

Please be kind but help me get a grip as well. I know that the psychiatrist probably was tired but at a moment when I felt most vulnerable it just made me feel like my problems were a boring inconvenience. Sorry this is long and I really am so thankful that I even got to see a doctor today and for what they do daily it's just really made me feel I can't go back again, that I'm boring them and they've bigger stuff to deal with.

Has anyone had this before? Maybe I just need to get a grip?

He was unprofessional 😡

Typical that I'd have a NC fail.

Thank you so much for replying Thisisit even that you think that helps me feel a little bit better.

He sounds rubbish. Just because he’s a psychiatrist doesn’t mean he’s a sensitive person or any good at his job.

It’s basic courtesy to try to stifle or disguise a yawn, even when you’re having a light chat - but if you’re engaged in your job and dealing with a distressed person, who is daring to be vulnerable and truthful, then it’s pretty unforgivable.

Can you change your psychiatrist? S/he was very unprofessional you should feel safe, secure and not judged.

You should be able to open up and be supported at such a vulnerable time.

Yes this has happened to me but worse the psychologist actually fell asleep !! No kidding. He was even gently snoring.
I left the room went to the reception desk and said Mr Psychologist has fallen asleep. I too felt he did not care abd was upset but I did make a complaint and I later saw a very nice psychologist with a very different attitude.
This has nothing to do with you. This about the psychiatrist being unprofessional and you must tell him how he made you feel and if neccesary ask to see another psychiatrist. He is there to help you not to belittle you.

It can be hard to get a psychiatrist "fit". They come with baggage as well. Yours sounded as if they hadn't got over the holidays, quite unprofessional. Can you change?

It's not very professional but it won't be about you. Maybe he was on call the night before or has personal stuff going on that it would equally unprofessional to tell you to explain why he's tired. It's so hard not to personalise when you're feeling the way you are, which then makes you feel even worse (been there so many times). It's a horrible experience for you though

Do not let someone do unprofessional and uncaring affect you. He sounds utterly shite and you should try to report him to whoever is relevant xx

I am a Consultant Psychiatrist, so often defend people working in mental health, but this is terrible, unprofessional and unforgivable. I would request a change of Psychiatrist. I am sorry this happened and the appointment made you feel worse.

Thank you all so much for taking the time to reply, all your lovely replies have already helped me to feel a bit less like it's my fault.

Posh that is crazy, I'm glad you eventually got a good psychiatrist. I never considered that they might not actually be good at their job or a nice person, I suppose when someone is in that position of power you just assume they'll be nice and help.

I didn't think I could complain (both due to having the courage and not knowing what to do) but after reading everyone's supportive replies I maybe will. I definitely feel I can't go back so maybe if I complained in a letter I could get a different psychiatrist.

Thank you all for helping me feel less alone with this

Thank you mickmills coming from a consultant psychiatrist that means a lot and gives me hope that I could maybe see someone better next time.

At the least - asking for a change of psychiatrist is ( and stating why ) - is what you deserve xx

Yes he's a person ( and we all have our flaws ) but the trust is broken and you need help ( not yawns - big indescrete ones at that ) !

Let us know how you get on ? Xx

At the least - asking for a change of psychiatrist is ( and stating why ) - is what you deserve xx

Yes he's a person ( and we all have our flaws ) but the trust is broken and you need help ( not yawns - big indescrete ones at that ) !

Let us know how you get on ? Xx

Yes - do ask for a change.

On one level I understand where he was coming from. My job entailed me listening to people who were in distress for long periods and I cannot pretend that I did not sometimes feel like yawning - not because I did not care, but because I was tired! I knew in my heart that the problem this person had was unique and desperate to them - even if I had heard similar many many times before. I really hope that I never yawned.

It is very unprofessional - and frankly lacking in common humanity.

I think you could reasonably ask for a change and even make a complaint - but I also recognise that you are not in a good place and it takes some energy and commitment to pursue these things.

I am very sorry that you are feeling bad at the moment and that your appointment did not go well. Please do not read anything personal into his behaviour. He is in the wrong here.

OP from what you said, it wasn't just his yawning, it was his manner too. That comment and the delivery would have upset me as well. It seems that he hadn't had his morning cup of empathy today. That's his problem. It also seems he hasn't quite understood what it's like to go for that first appointment. Again, his problem, not yours.

You did well opening up to him, especially given the circumstances. You do matter, definitely. Make a complaint if you can and/or ask for a change. The relationship is important and if he can't even stifle a yawn (which at least would show he was trying not to impact you with it), he's not going to be much help.

Reading the title, I was ready to defend the psychiatrist a little, assuming it was a quiet, warm room and the two of you had been sitting a little while. Sometimes tiredness can overcome a person and it can be hard to stop or disguise a yawn (i'm yawning now just thinking about yawning )

But reading that they threw their head back with their mouth wide open, no attempt to hide or stop it- that is simply rude and very unprofessional. You'd be right to request a new psychiatrist.

Yawning simply means someone is tired, not that they are bored or don't care. Although he could have been better mannered and covered his mouth.
Many psychiatrists do night time on-call work as well as daytime hours (they sometimes have to as part of their jobs). He may have had little or no sleep the night before.

Yep, the yawning you could forgive, but the blatant disregard for you and now attempt to hide it or apologise is not on.
Hope you got something useful out if the appt

I think it's worth asking for a change of Dr.
Finding the right or at least a better fit for you can make such a difference.

As an aside, i suffer eith bouts of excessive yawning (was a side effect of ADs I was on years ago that never left) and it's really embarrassing. I am a MH professional and occasionally it does happen when at most inconvenient moments.
I am very conscious of it and do my best to stifle and apologise. I can have 10-20 consecutive yawns

You should change psychiatrist. I did before when I had someone really flippant about what I was explaining (like you experienced) before he spent 20 mins telling me about the benefits of fish oil. That was £150 private medical for him to google fish oils.

Sorry you had this experience though, you deserve better x

Yes, I agree with others that it's not the yawn itself but how he did it.

I yawn a lot when I am concentrating and trying to retain information (I'd make a terrible therapist!) but I always cover my mouth and keep it as discreet as possible and, in a one to one situation, I would apologise and explain that the person isn't boring me - quite the opposite! Someone told me it's to do with oxygenating the brain - don't know if that's actually correct but it makes sense.

Did he make no attempt to apologise when he saw you'd seen him yawning? Really rude in any situation.

Perhaps the psychiatrist had been on- call the night before? Don't worry and try not to take it personally, doctors can get very tired!
Hope you feel better soon.

I had my current counsellor has tried hard to stifle/try to hide yawns when I was speaking to him a couple of times. It's not great and I felt a bit rubbish afterwards but I expect I'd do similar after sitting in a comfy chair listening to people talk all day.
The way your psychiatrist did it isn't nice though. Perhaps he didn't realise? Was having a bad day?
If you don't click/gel I'd look for someone else if possible.
I'm fortunate I get on well with mine as he's the only one available in the town I live! (With a 7 month waiting list!)

Thank you so much to everyone who replied to me, each of your replies have really, really helped. It might sound a bit silly but your replies have made me feel much less alone, so thank you all. Sorry for my late reply, I didn't intend to drip feed, I was just very low.

It definitely was the way they did it leaning back etc. I'd never even considered that yawning could be a sign of something else so thank you foody although that must be hard to deal with! And also user1 that had helped me see that all yawns are not the same.

Cantaloupe that is absolutely crazy. It is so hard to go to a doctor without that happening.

I hope that everyone who had a bad experience got the help they needed and that it did help. I got a call saying a cpn (I think that's what they said!) will call out next week so hopefully that will be better. After all your helpful posts I think I will ask for a different psychiatrist but not make a complaint. I'm really nervous about it but dread getting that doctor again.

Again, I really can't thank you all enough.

Glad you've got a plan xx

For what it's worth - you sound lovely - and if I could I'd gladly listen to you willingly and actively over a cup of tea with biscuits of course