I have depression and anxiety and I’m fucking furious about it

[ConstantiNoSugarInMineThanks]

Why have I got it? I have a great Dh, two great dc. We live in a nice house in a nice place. We’ve had a few stressors the last few years but nothing horrific. WTF. I’m going to get some CBT to try and help - I had some for anxiety years ago and it did help.

Anyone else frustrated with themselves? I just want to get my normal self back and get on with things. I don’t want to be a mentally fragile person and if you knew
me (or in fact do know me!) you won’t know I feel this way. So why can’t the inside match the performance I put on the outside?
I need to woman the hell up but how?

Hi, I feel the same! I've had three bad periods of anxiety which also leave me feeling really down. There is obviously a trigger each time but it's nothing obvious- as I really love my life. This makes it so much more difficult when it hits me as it turns my life upside down.
I don't think you can just pull yourself together- perhaps you are putting too much pressure on yourself? It really sucks, but if you've got through it before I'm sure you will again xx

It’s an illness. You might just as well ask ‘why I have I got cancer! I have a nice life and my marriage is good so I have no reason to get cancer!’ People with cancer also have nice houses.

You don’t get to choose if you have an illness or not- mental or otherwise- I’m afraid it chooses you and then you have to learn how to get along with it.

I think it is natural to be angry about having an illness, but the way you write almost sounds like you think it is your fault, or a weakness, or that there is something you could do to stop it. You don’t choose to be like this- no one would. It’s nothing to be ashamed of either- why be ashamed of something you have no control over?

Strong people get mentally unwell just as fragile people do.

Please don’t say ‘woman the hell up’ - it implies that it is someone’s fault, or that they are weak for suffering with depression/anxiety. That if they were tougher they wouldn’t feel that way. ANYONE can get ill!

Much love to you- it fucking sucks.

It’s fucking frustrating isn’t it? But I’m afraid that’s how it goes. Even if you appear to have a perfect life, or even feel it yourself, mental illness can attack. It isn’t discriminatory in who it affects; anyone is fair game.

I know what you mean. i had a bout of depression a few years ago, no real triggers just lots of little things chipping away at me. I took Prozac for a year and got better.

Now I feel like it might be back. Again no real trigger, just strung too thin for a bit too long maybe. I feel so cross with myself for allowing it to happen, I've tried so hard to look after my mental health.

Rationally I know it's not my fault, it's just one of those things. But I find it hard to think rationally and believe the logical stuff I'm telling myself ATM.

Not sure what my next steps are. I really don't want to go back on the Prozac. It worked but I didn't like the side effects. I think I need to find a way back to me, putting me first for a little bit maybe.

I feel quite the same way OP. I have no major worries in my life so I seem to make them up. I too put on a performance and I think its because of the fear of being judged. Like people will say "wtf has she got to be worried about, nice house, enough money etc, etc".

Excellent reply peachypips. You hit the nail on the head because I think I'm weak for being like this and therefore think its my own fault so I hide it.