Friend thinks i'm depressed- not so sure..?

[pinkdolly]

Ok, so I know something's not right. But calling it depression seems a bit OTT.

I have had depression and I was bad then and this is not the same.

Basically. I have lost all interest in my DH. Though I know I love him I dont really feel loving towards him. I cant face sex (havent managed it at all this year). I cant even think about it. Dh is very understanding about this but still makes playful advances (I am sorry to say that it frustrates and angers me when he does this, I usually have to hold my tongue).

Dh has said that I have lost my excitement and Joy. I am finding it very hard to get excited about anything. He told me something the other day that should have blown me away but was shocked when I hardly reacted.

My patience levels have dropped dramatically, and I am prone to short temper outbursts.

And a lot of the time I feel like I am forcing myself to get out and do something.

I also get headaches and feel v.tired.

Now my dd3 is 9 months old, so have been feeling like this since she was at least 5 months (possibly a bit earlier). But in my defence we've had a lot on. I have 3 girls under 5, none of which go to nursery, and are with me 24/7 (my choice). All have which were sick with one thing after the other for the first 3 months of this year. It was horrible. I was so sleep deprived, and very emotional. Of course I am a mother you deal with these things and get on with it. But am kind of wandering whether (now that they are all well again) my emotional wellbeing has suffered because of this. Rather then being depressed could I just be emotionally run down and a little bit low.

I am my own worst enemy. I rarely go out without the children. DD3 has always been v.clingy and I have pandered to this, I know this is something I need to address.

My friend thinks I just need to get away for the weekend, and have a break. If I do this, it will be the longest I have ever spent away from my children. Dh is very good with the girls but as he works full time he hasn't quite got the skills to deal with 3 under 5's for that length of time (especially dd3, who is likely to be very upset without me here).

Sorry to ramble on, Just wanted your thoughts on this really.

Thanx

Pink

I'm not an expert but having 3 under 5s must be shattering and you haven't got the energy to see to dhs needs as well as your dcs. You should probably see a doc to exclude any medical reason though.

Thanx ballbaby, having being toying with the idea of going to see the HV's.
When dd3 was born they gave me a questionnaire to fill in based on my state of mind. They said I could come back and fill another one in any time I like. Each possible answer has a point and they total it all up. The more points you have the closer to being depressed you become.

Wow you really have a lot on your plate and it's totally understandable you are feeling run down....It would be best I think to speak to someone who is used to recognising depression/pnd though, maybe your health visitor might be helpful?!?
The fact that you don't feel like going out and are having mood swings and no/little excitement could indicate depression rather than severe knackeredness, the fact that you've said that it might be depression on here makes me think that you think it could be. Basically if it is, the sooner you can get help the better, and you need a break....if leaving the kids is too much for the weekend (it might make you feel more stressed?), what about for an afternoon? (there are some nannies that can care for an afternoon only) and build upto a regular break, with dp (even if one evening a month)....
{{big hugs}}

having three under fives with you 24/7 is exhausting.

You don't need to go away for the whole weeekend - but you need regular time for yourself and for you and your dh.

I have a set amount of time for myself every week. If I don't get this, I feel the way you feel.

Dh and I go out regularly together - if we don't , then he gets really upset and feels like I'm neglecting him, which is true.

I suppose I think the solution is simple. Time for yourself, and time for dh.

I've had depression in the past, and your lack of interest in sex, and your description of having lost your joy sound like classic symptoms to me. That said, I am not surprised you are exhausted with 3 under 5s. Please go and see your HV or GP, my GP was fantastic when I had depression, and keep posting - we are here to help.

if the simple solution doesn't work, then maybe look into morte complicated treatment for depression.

thanx for help.
I did mention it to dh last night, and he said "you are not depressed". Dont get me wrong he is ever so supportive and understanding. But last time I had depression I had a lot of anxiety. It physically stopped me going from places I loved (namely church) because I was too scared (i had a panick attack there one time).
And i would burst into tears quite often. I have snuck away to have a bit of a cry on the odd occassion. But I think that might be me letting off steam.

He does, however agree that these could be early warning signs of depression and that we should get on top of it.

I will have to put my pride and stubborn streak on the top shelf for a while and allow others to look after my girls for me every now and then I think.

thanx again.

I felt like this with dd when she was about 15 months old, my gp said I had mild pnd. It's not just for newborns. He prescibed magnesium and vitb12 [I think} it was miraculous, I found joy in my dd again. My friends noticed before I did too.