What are your experiences of calling the Samaritans?

[Starfish]

Not just the Samaritans but any suicide hotline. I'm really struggling tonight but also feel uncomfortable phoning people (anyone, even phone lines that exist for that purpose) and unburdening all my problems on them.

Like, how do they answer the calls, what do they say etc. I don't know, I know I need to call someone before I do something stupid, I really don't have anywhere else to go (housemate is avoiding me as clearly my mental illness makes him uncomfortable or whatever) but I'm really anxious about the whole thing. I feel like if I know exactly what to expect, I'll be more comfortable about calling if that makes sense??

Didn’t want to read and run but I haven’t got any useful experience here - I would be really interested to hear others thoughts however as I have worried the same.

In the meantime while we wait for someone more useful to join, Ill be thinking of you and hope things get better

I’ve never called but I’ve been to a recruitment night. They listen. Without judgement, without advice, without trying to talk you into or out of anything. They are warm, friendly, extremely empathetic and trained to deal with whatever you throw at them. Their job is to get you through the moment where you feel like taking action. It’s up to you how this happens. You can talk about what’s bothering you, you can talk about the weather, you can just sit in silence...

Oh, and they’ll say something like, ‘Hi, I’m sarah - are you happy to give me your name?’

They’ll guide the conversation. Get it started. It’s not awkward. There is no pressure on you. They will guide you.

They will ask if you are feeling suicidal. That’s the only scripted thing they HAVE to ask.

They really let you lead the conversation and that means sometimes there can be silences. They are there to listen and support you. They are there because they want you to feel you can unburden yourself. The people taking calls are very committed to the voluntary work they are doing and are there because they want to listen.

Give them a call. If it weirds you out in any way, you can hang up. You’re in control. Yeah. That is another thing. They never end a call. They will talk to you all night if you need it. You decide when it’s over. You’re in control. You’ve got this.

Take care, my love. x

They just answer the phone as in “Samaritans, how can I help” they are there to listen whilst you work things out by just talking to a neutral person.

Don’t expect a miracle or someone to tell you the answers because they will just listen and prompt an extra thought from you here and there.

Very therapeutic for a space to be heard whilst you verbalise your thoughts without fear of being judged.

I think I'd just say hello and ask if they mind having a chat for a bit. They want to help you. They want to help you feel better.

I've occasionally phoned them at night when it's too late to call family or friends.

They just chatter to you and listen. You don't have to be suicidal.

There's also a number you can text if you feel more comfortable doing that. Let me know if you'd like the number.

I've rung them a lot.

I mainly want you to be aware in all likelihood you'll get an answerphone message saying they're all busy and be cut off and be prepared for it. I spent two hours trying to get through and failing, and though I already know about the system I actually felt worse - I know that sounds stupid but having your call cut off when already upset can be very upsetting.

It's a new system introduced since their number became freephone. It's not mentioned anywhere (as far as I know) and the Samaritans themselves deny it happens but it does. It seems to be a combination of the freephone number meaning more people are calling and lack of volunteers.

I know someone who is a social worker who I mentioned it to who said they've heard a lot of people comment on it.

When I've got through I've never been given the persons name. The first thing they will say is "Samaritans how can I help you?" They should allow you to talk at your own pace about whatever it is you need to and you should be in charge of the conversation - giving whatever info you need to. As with all things Samaritans are people and people vary so if you feel uncomfortable then you can always put the phone down and try again.

I've never rang them before but my FIL is a Samaritans 'listener' (not sure what the actual role is) and he is one of the kindest, most patient people I've ever met. He's a really great listener when I've needed it - I've spoken to him about problems with my parents before - and can imagine he'd be great to talk to if you needed help.
Going off how nice he Is, I can assume there are lots more like him. They're there to help and you can always just say 'thank you but I don't want to talk any more' and put the phone down.

I used to be a volunteer listener for the website 7cupsoftea.com - on there you can just talk to somebody rather than have to speak on the phone. We were instructed not to judge or influence but to listen, hand hold and tell the speaker that someone cares. If you need to talk feel free to PM me.

Hope you feel better OP. It's a crap place to be but things do get better.

Thank you Red Panda - I think you’ve just saved my night! I want to ring the Samaritans but can’t bevaude I’m trapped in a hotel room and I don’t want to wake DH! Thank you.

Yes they do hang up on you. I was very upset once and expressing my feelings. The man I spoke to was so disinterested, rude and horrible to speak to. He clearly disconnected the line. This has happened a handful of times in my life when calling the Samaritans but it does happen. Sometimes I feel it would be better to talk to a brick wall. I am on hold to them now

They are totally useless. I told them I’m suicidal and she speaks to me yes but then tells me 45 minutes in that she has to go? Like I’m going to overdose now. Thank you for nothing

I sadly also had an experience of someone having to end a call after 60mins. At the time I was in a very bad place and it has put me off calling them since in times of need.

It just made me feel like there was no one there for me anywhere, and even though I understand that an hour is a long time, I feel that if someone is in crisis you can't put a time limit on them asking for help.

I hope you are ok OP, please look after yourself

Not great, it went something like this
hello, Samaritans can I help you?
Yes, I'm feeling really bad
What is making you feel bad?

I'm sorry I can't really hear you, are you by a train track?
Yes
Can you call us back from somewhere quieter?
and they ended the call

I called them the other night twice...and no reply! Was very upset and needed someone to talk to, but not suicidal. Considering the adverts that are constantly on that they help those dealing with suicidal thoughts I think they should employ some more workers so they can answer the phone.

I’ve rang them a few times this last year.

There’s a few issues I’m going through, one being my DD and her mental health and they were very good. The worst part was waiting until I was connected and I nearly gave up and put the phone down. I actually found talking to the men much easier than the women (no idea why) but they were calm and listened to ALL my concerns. I would definitely call them up again in the future. Just talking to someone who didn’t know me was especially reassuring.

Make the call if you feel the need. I hope you are ok btw.

I'd say 90% of the times I've called they've been great; calmed me down.
It works for me.
The other times I've felt worse because I can't get through and I start to panic.