11 wk dd won’t stop crying

[Liverpoolmumof1]

Can someone please help!!! My DD is 11 wks old today. She cries constantly unless she is held by me (she rarely settles with her dad) and even then, I can’t always settle her. She hardly sleeps during the day and when she does she has to fall asleep on me and very rarely stays asleep more than half an hour. By bed time she is exhausted. She does sleep well at night but I find myself longing for 7:30 to come. I know it’s terrible but I’m getting to the point where I can’t enjoy being around her even though I love her.

She was diagnosed with reflux and cows milk protein allergy a few weeks ago but so far, everything we’ve tried has failed. Gaviscon makes her bloated, uncomfortable and constipated. She refuses the feed altogether when I add carobel. We tried to put her on Nutramigen on the advice of the paediatrician but she vomited the whole feeds back. She is now back on SMA but screams through the feed. The feeding nurse has advised that it’s something we just have to persevere with.

I am coming here now because yesterday and today, she has refused feeds completely after taking a couple of sips. I am currently pinned to the sofa with her after an hour and a half of uncontrolled screaming resulting in her lying in my arms with rolling eyes; neither asleep or awake.

I really am at the end of my patience and feel completely desperate for somewhere to turn next!!

If anyone has anything to offer please do.

Have you tried using a sling? She will still be attached to you, but ull be free to move around? My little boy also had reflux, he's 4 months now and seems to have grown out of it. (We're now teething so have a different set of problems!)

Thanks for replying.

Yes I’ve tried a sling and she’s fine for about 10 minutes before the crying and starts again and I have to go back to cuddling and rocking.

Worth seeing the GP to see if she has reflux? Best wishes to you

Poor thing. If she has taken less than half her total feed in 48 hours you should consider going back to the doctor as there is a danger of dehydration.
She will get better. And it will improve as she gets older and she can sit up etc but I can imagine it all feels very dark and hopeless now.

Have you tried comfort milk? I know the protein in that is broken down much further than in other milks so it’s easier on their gut.

You can also buy something from the chemist (£12) it’s an enzyme that basically helps to break down the proteins in the milk but I forget what it’s called. It’s in a tiny bottle.

You could also try a few drops of peppermint tea in a syringe as this may help soothe her tummy. Other cultures do this but it is not widely done here as the big pharma get you with their other stuff!

I would also call your HV and tell her what is happening and see what she advises.

One last thing - the pre made cartons of milk from the supermarket are also easier on the gut.

I’ve been in your shoes!

It will pass. It’s just a phase. You will get through it.

My health visitor suggested an oz of cooled chamomile tea (not caffeinated obv) and it always settled my DS within about ten minutes when he was having an episode of colic or reflux rage

OP whatever about solutions for DC, contact your Hv as she is also responsible for your health during this period and should be able to support you through this. I had different issues with DD relating to feeding but I called Hv and she was at my house that afternoon which I found really helpful x

I could have written this 4 years ago OP.

We tried everything and every milk! Ready made aptamil worked best. And a high dose of omeprazole prescribed by paediatrician.

Poor little love, and poor you. I have some experience, my dd has cows milk protein allergy (CMPA) and reacted badly through my breast milk. I can only imagine the pain and discomfort she would have felt from a direct dose of the protein as it occurs in formula. She was also un-put-down-able, I think the warmth and pressure on her belly was soothing for her.

Hopefully once you sort out her feed you'll have a much happier baby and a much easier time yourself.

Have you joined the cmpa support groups on Facebook? They are brilliant for getting sound and sympathetic advice from other parents who have been in the same situation.

More practially, (once you are sure she's hydrated of course), you could go back to the GP and ask for a different hypoallergenic formula to be prescribed to see if she will take that? And/or try gradually switching in the nutramingen, an 1/2 or 1 oz at a time, building up to a full feed? I understand these special formulas taste pretty rank and it might just take some getting used to. Getting those dairy proteins out of her systems is key if she is CMPA.

For what it's worth, once I'd sorted out DD's feed (in my case by going dairy and soy free myself), it was like having a different baby within a couple of weeks, and She continued to improve thereafter. She is 15 weeks now. HTH, and all the best.

Apologies if you already know of these, but i want to link them just in case as they are so helpful. This is the main support group:

www.facebook.com/groups/Allergy.diet/

And your d's has reflux, so this other support group for babies with cmpa and reflux might be helpful:

www.facebook.com/groups/CMPASforReflux/

There is formula made from goat's milk available. Not sure if that would help. Available in health food stores or on Amazon www.amazon.co.uk/s/?hvlocphy=1007850&hvptwo&hvnetw=g&keywords=nanny+care+goat+milk&hvadid=225316962865&index=aps&hvpone&hvlocint&ref=pd_sl_4ovn35ezzo_e&hvpos=1t2&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl&hvqmt=e&tag=mumsnetforum-21&ie=UTF8&hvtargid=kwd-12577727120&hvrand=11917015766179843414

Unfortunately goat milk formula wouldn't help

Only human milk or hypoallergenic (hydrolysed) formula as the baby would react to the proteins in other mammal milks

Thank you everyone for your replies and the links. I will definitely look into that.

I have tried a few different milks but my HV has told me not to change them any more as it will make it worse. My HV is lovely and she is helping me personally but doesn’t have a lot of practical advice for DD.

Is it safe to give her the tea at her age? X

In that case, I would work on getting your dd to take the nutramingen, as it is designed for allergic babies. I'm sure the members of the support groups will have more and better practical advice re: formula, as I'm breastfeeding so haven't been using any.

Is there an organisation in your country/area for donor breast milk if that's an option you'd consider?

I gave my ds cooled chamomile tea at 3 months. I did a lot of googling first as I was nervous too!

Donor breast milk would need to be from someone following a dairy-free diet, mind. The cow milk proteins are transferred to breast milk and can cause a reaction in sensitive babies.

She did like the nutramigen but she couldn’t keep it down. No problems drinking it though. I think all donor BM goes to the Liverpool women’s, I’m not sure. I think I would be less comfortable with that to be honest because of uncertainty on how the donor is screened. I was unable to feed her myself because of antiepileptic medication.

I might give her another go on nutramigin now she’s a bit older and possibly the tea. Does anyone know anything about wysoy?

There is a big shortage of donor milk so it is mostly reserved for premature babies I think. (Former NICU mum here). How are things overall for you though? Rant away if you need to.

Just to say my daughter was a bit colicky and we regularly gave her tea from about 3 weeks. Mainly fennel as it helps the tummy. The midwife told me she did it herself by boiling up the seeds but I just used a tea bag, they have such a tiny amount. Countries like Germany and in Eastern Europe regularly give babies herbal tea, not sure why we don't do it here.

Luchimangso, to be honest I’m finding it really hard. It’s like no matter what I do, it isn’t right and most of the time, I think she would fare better with someone else. I can’t get the hospital or the GP to take it seriously; they just keep saying that she’ll grow out of it and to persevere. She is still gaining weight but I feel like it’s coming at the cost of her being happy and content. I often find myself crying with her during feeding times and pleading with her to just let me know how to help. I just feel completely powerless!! Sorry to carry on

My HV has been quite a good support for me - she has referred me to a counselling service. My DH has been great with practical stuff too but I’m finding it hard to make him understand how lonely it is.

Mishmishmish thanks for the tip - I’ll definitely give it a go I think.

You are doing what you can. She loves you and she will show it when she can. Fingers crossed some of the remedies work but as she sits up it will hopefully improve. There is nothing like the newborn days with baby no 1. It is horrid. I promise promise it gets better. They get more interesting and interactive and your life gets better.

My DD1 was lactose intolerant and had reflux and I totally remember the trauma of a baby that never stopped screaming or throwing up. It was horrendous.

I was passed off as a paranoid first time mum every time I went to the GP but eventually saw a lovely GP who said she was lactose intolerant and she was put onto Wysoy and that was the first full nights sleep either of us had had in weeks. Absolutely blessed relief.

I would give it a go if it's an option. And whether she is screaming or not, get your DH to wrap her up in the sling and take her for a walk just so you can get a bath and half an hours peace. That will do you the world of good and give you time to mentally regroup. God knows, I wish I'd had someone to do that for me.

Oh a couple of other things I'd recommend.

Get into a pretty warm bath with her. Hold her against your tummy and chest and sing to her. Get her tummy in the water and hold her close. It SHOULD soothe her and give you some respite.

And put her on her tummy over your knees. It quite often relieves their pain for a while and can help her sleep.

No practical help here I'm afraid, but lots of sympathy. Oh, I remember the crying - it destroys you. I found the first few weeks pretty awful, if I'm honest. But it does get better. So much better.

Please do keep pushing the post-natal services for support if you feel you're not getting enough. In my area they offered a baby massage course for mothers who (for various reasons) were suffering/struggling. It was good to be able to talk openly with people who were in a similar boat.

Hope things get better for you soon