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Depression and anxiety

12 replies

Kittykat2027 · 28/12/2017 23:32

Hi guys,

I wrote on here about my skin picking disorder and mentioned that I also suffer from anxiety and depression which is taking over my life and I don't want it to beat me down anymore.
My anxiety first started as previously mentioned when I lost my girls, it became rapidly worse during future pregnancies which I had four healthy children 3 boys and one girl. We also had to deal with 2 intense big brother years of social services and when I say intense I am not joking we had reports weekly from annomynous people up until we had a child protection meeting and then all silent reporters were leaked they broke data protection by accidently naming who had called them in the freaking report which happened to be my partners family. We being I don't know naive or thick maybe didn't understand the report until my partner was arrested on going to ask about the letter with his family , we also had the police show up with a camera crew from Channel four who shoved a camera in my kids faces and I was told to go to the meeting alone and told by my speak out advisor what the report meant. My anxiety since this incident has hit a new level. I don't go out, I don't have friends, I don't speak to family or outsiders this is probably the first time I have actually managed to express his since it happened in 2015/2016. I was placed on esa and switched to work related activity and then forced my self back to work in 2016 when my housing benefit was cut to 50p a week. I worked six months at a job I actually liked I was helping vulnerable people like myself get on courses but my anxiety breached and I started to have anxiety attacks on the way into work, crying in work not being able to concentrate. This wasn't just down to my anxiety at the time my manager was making work a very hard place to be always eyeballing or it felt like I was being eyeballed and couldnt do the job which I could have done really well and probably exceeded in. I am not back on esa work related with limited capabilities and I still want to help anyone who has been in this or a similar situation. I don't know if I will pass but I have applied to be a trainee psychological wellbeing practitioner. I even laugh thinking of this but I vision myself with an office and being able to write on the side.

My depression started a long time ago. I was bullied in school, my parents broke up when I was 17. I had countless relationships where I was hurt or used. Then I lost my two precious babies and yes I have healthy kids who I love dearly doesn't stop my aching heart for the ones that aren't here. This is why I get so anxious with my kids I worry they will get hurt yet I can have days where I feel completely useless as a. Mum
I try everything to give them a good life as all of us do. But I know what it's like to feel uncomfortable or unworthy of who you are and I haven't spoken about this before.
I have never really put in to words for anyone to read how I feel daily because I know more people go through worse

For anyone that has or is going through this you are not alone
I am here as a listening ear and any comments will be appreciated

Like I said I have never wrote this for others to read before.
It's personal and the first time I have done so

But thank you for reading.
Jo

OP posts:
Kittykat2027 · 28/12/2017 23:35

Sorry it's supposed to read I'm now back on esa with limited capabilities. Predictive text predicted wrong!

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Kittykat2027 · 01/01/2018 17:44

Bump

OP posts:
Bigbazza50 · 02/01/2018 21:11

I feel your pain I’ve suffered from depression and anxiety since young age but the last 18 months have been horrendous. My work place are a disgrace no help and bullying very rife told to man up on more than one occasion also told don’t cry you’re a man . Men don’t suffer with depression or anxiety total garbage . No help out there at all I can find . Talk to people and then they make a horrid comment, not intentional I hope 🤞🏿 just don’t understand I keep wanting to run away where no one knows me or could find me self harm to but not yet . Hope u still got your children and good luck x

Wolfiefan · 02/01/2018 21:14

How brave you are to write that all down and share it. What an awful time you have had.
What do you want to change? I have anxiety and depression. I have been off pills for ages but went on a new medication last month. Also planning to engage with MH services once kids go back to school.
You can't change the past but you can make a change for the future.

Kittykat2027 · 02/01/2018 21:31

Thank you for ur replies, yes I do have my children social services stopped being involved last year but the damage has been done my anxiety levels have been through the roof. I couldn't concentrate in work on the things I knew I could do and I loved my job but it wasn't made easy and my anxiety got the better of me and I left.
I want to be able to make a. Difference, change how I think, help others too. I have self harmed by picking since a child, I completely understand about wanting to hide and my self esteem levels have been really low. Men get depression and anxiety just like anyone else don't ever let anyone tell u different, have you tried the IAPT services? Or if u feel low or anxious write down your feelings, you can put everything all the anger, hurt pain on paper or a pc or a voice recorder and it helps to release it. It's up to you then if u wish to share it but you can reflect on it if your up to it. I have applied to become a trainee psychological wellbeing practitioner. Might sound completely dumb but it's giving me a new focus.
I hope u both get sorted thanks for the replies

OP posts:
Kittykat2027 · 02/01/2018 21:41

Just to add I have tried all types of medication and nothing seems to help they even. Gave me one with a sedative in but I fell asleep in the daytime and my partner couldn't wake me up. I don't take them at the moment due to not seeing a difference. I am trying self help methods and self help reading. My anxiety causes my skin to itch and then I scratch and then... Pick. I also pick when angry, upset or for some reason calm and this is the main thing I want to stop. My depression is mainly when I think of my daughters, or when I get chance to think of what I haven't been able to do for my kids...thanks again

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 02/01/2018 21:43

You need to access proper help. Pills alone may not do it but you may need CBT or similar.

Jenton77 · 03/01/2018 11:00

Hi. I have been suffering with anxiety and depression for a while now. I'm very much up and down - one day I'll be fine, feeling positive, the next I feel like a complete mess and a failure. I have a 1 year old and I'm 17 weeks pregnant and at the moment I'm absolutely shattered which is making it more difficult to cope with things.

I recently started a new job about 6 weeks ago. I told them I was pregnant a couple of weeks ago and my boss was very supportive but now I have been signed off for 2 weeks because of anxiety and panic attacks (which work know nothing about). My workload is quite full on at the moment and I don't feel like I can just drop everything. I don't know what to do - shall I tell work and show them the doctor's note or should I just struggle on for a bit. Or maybe I could suggest working a few hours a week just to keep on top of my current workload. Having never been signed off before I'm not sure how this works, whether there is a middle ground.

Any advice welcome!
Many thanks

Kittykat2027 · 03/01/2018 12:09

Thanks for the replies. Jenton, my advice to you would be to let lower your hours if you are still feeling like you can work something, I worked at a company in 2012 and got pregnant with my son. My anxiety because of my previous loses was a mess and I spoke to my doctor who signed me off with anxiety when it was nearly my maternity leave. I made sure HR and my boss was fully aware that I was pregnant and was being watched.

May be if you talk to your boss who you have stated at being understanding and explain your situation they may be able to come up with a job-share or alternative hours which would give you less stress. I completely understand that you don't feel you can just leave I felt the same when I was in a similar situation, but making the work load more manageable and maybe lessening the hours may be helpful. Let me know how you get on, good luck hun.
Thanks again guys for your replies it does make me feel so much better writing all this down.

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Jenton77 · 03/01/2018 20:00

Hi! Sorry I didn't mean to post in this thread! It's my first time don't really know what I'm doing! Ha. I was reading your post and accidentally posted my question here. Thanks so much for your advice though (I am going to speak to my boss on Friday when she's back in). You have been through so much and had a lot of bad luck and circumstances by the sound of it. You are obviously great at communicating and helping people. I hope all goes well for you and your family in future and you find a fulfilling job. X

Kittykat2027 · 03/01/2018 20:40

Hi jenton,

I am glad you posted and Thankyou so much for ur kind words. I have applied to be a trainee psychological wellbeing practitioner so they mean an awful lot to me. Like I said please please let me know how ur get on, if your manager is as supportive as u say she is then she should be able to come up with a solution you feel is comfortable. I have been where you are, my son wasn't more than 4 when I went back to work and I was pregnant with my 5th child. My anxieties may be for a. Different reason but I do understand the pressure your under. I wrote to my manager as I couldnt face telling him. And he was very understanding as were HR and they sorted hours suited to me till my anxieties became too much
I'm not saying yours will but if you feel you are in a position to still manage work then by all means talk to her explain I'm sure she and you be fine
Keep me posted I'm here if u need to talk.

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Kittykat2027 · 03/01/2018 20:46

Sorry jenton forgot to say feels like it's been years of bad luck but hopefully that will change. I would never wish it on anyone. I am here if you want to talk or just let off steam. I haven't been able to open up to anyone for years and now I feel it's time to make a change and it starts here. Thank you again for your kindness. Speak soon x

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