This is unbearable

[willothewisp17]

I suffer from anxiety and am medicated. Nothing is helping and this is more severe than I ever thought . I can't imagine living like this, feeling like this every single day, it's so so so unbearable! I want to just stop, I don't want life to be like this, it's such a fucking nightmare every day.

How you doing op?

I can't stop

What can’t you stop?

Is your husband in the house with you?

You do sound like you’re having a massive panic attack (been there and it’s terryfying ) but if your dh can manage for a while with baby. I would call 111 and tell them what’s happening with you. It could also be pnd on top of your anxiety so it’s much worse. You need to speak to a professional. I suffered with this for a long time. Finally got help by seeing a therapist and medication. It will get better.

Are you there OP? How are things now? Did you get any sleep?

I did get some sleep eventually, with a bucket next to the bed, as the toilet is right next to the babies room and I didn't want to wake her being sick. This is utterly ridiculous, last night I vomited three times out of sheer anxiety. When will GPs in general be back open? I can't go on like this, I've never felt so desperate and helpless in all my life, I was terrified that my husband was going to have to call an ambulance, it was that bad. I don't feel as hysterical this morning, but I have a pounding heachache, and I feel sick and nervous about tonight again and the day has barely started. There's something about night time that really gets to me. When I was younger (not married, no kids, lived with parents) I had an awful time waking in the middle of the night convinced I was going to get ill. I think after I've fed my daughter I'll go back to bed for a bit.

Good idea Willo but first call the GP?

This is definitely something you want to try and at least get a professional to take on board how you re feeling, even if it’s just giving you an appointment date for next week.

You’re doing better than you think love, honestly. And I feel for you. I only had a tenth of what you’re feeling and that was chronic x

Most GPs will be open today I think - ring and check. You are doing brilliantly, even if you don't feel it, but you need to ask for more help urgently - it's the first stage in getting better.

How are you holding up, Willo? Hope things have improved.