Having a panic attack, can anyone help?

[carriemathisonshandbag]

In the middle of a massive panic attack. I had a breakdown 14 years ago and everything had been pretty much under control, but they have been coming more frequently recently.

Have had a difficult year and the last couple of weeks have been very tough and stressful as my Dsis has split from her H. Now my Dsis has flu and I have been looking after her spirited DC. Now I can't stop thinking that I am going to get it too. I have to do a 400 mile round trip on Thurs to drop my DC at their GPs so they can see STBXH.

I don't know what to do. My DM is also strung out with helping to look after my DNs and I don't want to burden her any more, Dsis too ill to do anything. I can't take another night of looking after her 13 month old, but I think I am going to have to, and I am exhausted and feel sick. I have been crying all day. I know that is really selfish of me.

Breathe. You have been there before and you got on top of it. Breathe and focus on your body. Feel your arms, legs, toes. Focus on one task - open a window, change the baby, have a glass of water, have a shower. Focus completely and forget about everything else.

Are you able to go for a walk? Go for a long walk if you can please. Have you had decent meals today? Please eat and drink. Do something you like even if it's having a cup of tea or eating your favourite crisps or listening to a favourite song on YouTube. Something that will give you pleasure.

You are not selfish, in fact quite the opposite. You have a lot on your plate. Can someone else help with baby tonight? Can you plonk baby in front of the TV while you gather your thoughts? Flu is bad but not as contagious as for example vomiting bugs so it's not a certainty you will get it.

hope you feel better soon

400 miles? Shit the bed, OP, that and other people's dcs - at Christmas, plus your own. Plus a situation in which, given you've said STBXH, you and your kids have plenty on your plate already...well, that would send me over the edge.

You need more hands, if it has to be your mum, so be it. And you need less challenging stuff to face. Can something else be done instead of this 400 mile trip?

Think of 5 things you can hear, see and touch and repeat until you run out of ideas

Thanks everyone. Unfortunately a walk is out of the question with my exhausted DC at the moment, but I have opened the windows wide and fresh air is helping. I did have a bit of Christmas dinner.

I have just tidied up the christmas clutter, which has helped quite a bit. If I keep busy it will pass. Health anxiety seems to be the main trigger at the moment, I think it comes from being a lone parent now.

BIL is being a dick with my Dsis, who is trying to get him to look after their DC, which would take the pressure of everyone else. He is a major part of our stress.

Can't avoid the journey on Thurs really. STBXH and I can't meet as I have a restraining order against him. Only possibility is for my DM and MIL to arrange some sort of handover halfway. Like I say DM is equally stressed out by what is going on (Me, DPs and Dsis all live in separate parts of the same house, so we are in each other's pockets). MIL has not been well this year due to the stress of having a narcassistic son who has been convicted of assault.

2018 can only be better!

I know how it feels to have severe anxiety and panic attacks.

You will be ok.

Affirmations help me sometimes. Saying positive things ten times slowly whilst breathing in and out slowly.

Visualise yourself breathing in the colour orange and out the colour black.

Take a hot bath if you can or stand under a hot shower.

Long, slow deep breaths in and out.

And, why the he'll isn't the BIL helping look after his own child? Or have I got that wrong.

Ask for help. It's ok.

Breathe in through nose to count of 5
Breathe out through mouth to count of 8
DO this for three minutes do not stop.

Will rebalance your blood and clear adrenalin from your poor body and mind.

Walk round the block if you can get out.,

the "spirited" ones are a large part of the problem aren't they?

is it worth issuing whatever the biggest punishment is that they get - yes on Xmas Day - or whatever moves them into being less of a nightmare?

if you & your DM are feeling stressed to the gills because of these "spirited" DC, that's pretty telling.

Feeling much better now, thank you all for your support, it really means so much. Dsis has decided that as they are all so tired she thinks she will be able to cope, and DM will help with bedtime. I have told her to call me though in the night if the baby is unsettled.

BIL is refusing to help out because he is angry that Dsis instigated the split. DF called him and told him that she wasn't making her illness up, but he hasn't listened. He is the sort that will punish others at the expense of his DC.

The older DNs can be very sweet, but they are willfull and don't listen.
Their parents split and mummy being ill at Christmas is taking its toll on them though. The baby is the loveliest baby you would wish to meet, but at 13 mths he is naturally hard work. My youngest is 4 now, so I thought I was past that stage .

You sound brilliant OP. Hero of the day, really. Not surprised you are shattered and weak.Small children are not relaxing esp at this time of year.

Look after yourself, you deserve every comfort now. Happy Xmas.

How awful for you. I have found that deliberately concentrating on something (eg balancing a bank statement) really helps me get my mind back in balance xxx

The other day I heard something on the radio about square breathing... here...
dopaminedialogue.wordpress.com/2010/07/06/square-breathing-treatment-for-anxiety-without-using-medication/

That might help next time?