What does counselling involve?

[HopelesslyHopeful87]

After a long time knowing I need to get some help for my mental health I have finally taken the plunge and arranged some private counselling to begin in the new year.

Can anyone tell me what I should expect? I'm worried it will be a " his, how are you, why are you here?" Type of direct questioning when in actual fact I know I would clam up and probably just say I'm fine like I always do.

How do they weedle out the things you need to talk about?

I'm really beginning to overthink it now and starting to think I've committed to something I can't see through or can't be honest with.

I think it depends on the one you go to, if you tell them straight away that you’ll clam up with direct questioning or that you find that difficult then I’m sure they can adapt to different ways of discussing things.
I quite like talking about myself though so I found it quite easy, but I was surprised how I thought I was rabbiting on about something that wasn’t really relevant and was actually just having a bit of a chat, but actually she identified things that in hindsight were really big issues for me.
I know people who do NOT talk or do emotions but who desperately needed counselling and they found a counsellor that they do feel able to talk to. Maybe try different ones if you’re unsure, but persist if you can. And well done on booking the sessions, that’s a huge step and one that is massive in itself.

As you decided that you needed to do this, maybe you can write a list of things that you need help with? Even if its 'I do this, and I don't know why', those kinds of things are a place to start.

The counsellor is there to help with what you need, so try not to think of it as them asking you things, think about what YOU want from it. Hopefully once you get going you'll find it easier to talk (I used to find I thought of more and more I wanted to talk through, and used to make lists so I wouldn't forget!).

I had a good one for me, because they clearly laid out their style of working (transactional analysis), and demonstrated models of behaviour and patterns. Really suited me, as a more academically minded person.

A friend's boyfriend has counselling sessions in which his counsellor makes him sit quietly for at least 5-10 minutes to try and clear out all the mental exhaustion he is constantly surrounded by at all other times. This works for him.

A good counsellor should have a range of styles they can use, and work to your personality. It's more important to build a relationship and trust. You can chat idly, or keep quiet, or zone in on one thing that's itching at you.. whatever works for you, it's your time to be you.

I can relate to this as I have a tendency to clam up too. Before my first counselling session I rehearsed what I needed to say to the counsellor because I knew I would find it hard to speak.
If you tell them about this tendency, and anything else which may be a barrier for you, a good counsellor will be able to find ways of working with you.
Good luck.

hopelessly good luck for the new year.
I have been seeing someone since April and I still have a tendency to clam up and put up barriers most of the time I don't even know I'm doing it until he points it out. He is still trying to find ways around it once they are up but I'm hoping eventually they won't be up.
But even just talking about general life and nothing deep and meaningful he picks out so many things and makes so much sense so even if you do clam up it will still be useful and eventually you will trust them enough that talking will come easier.