Does anyone else feel they are failing at life ?

[frumpety]

Things seem to have got to the point where I can no longer see a way foreword . Not in a suicidal way , been there in the past and now is nothing like that . Its just I feel rubbish at everything , being a wife , a mother , a friend , keeping on top of the housework , you name it , I am failing badly . Work wise , I can just about manage to keep up for the four days I am there , but I am letting stuff slide there too now .

I think everyone feels like this. Let’s just look at your list

• work
• Mum
• wife
• friend
• housework

I think it is impossible to keep on top of everything and sometimes you have to let things slide.

You are not alone. I have ups and downs. More downs since winter. I think I have touch of SAD. Trying all the usual more exercise, outside time, vitamin D, talking to others etc. Be less hard on yourself and perhaps for time being consciously choose some things on your list to let slide.

Yeah I feel like this sometimes! I've gone from being in what I thought was a good relationship, working good hours, being able to parent my DD...to being a single, pregnant mum with no job & wondering wtf i'm doing with my life.

I'm feeling like that at the moment. I've prioritised the mum role, which has been mentally wearing for years but especially lately. Am now questioning my work judgement as I made a difficult professional decision this week, but am now doubting myself. Am not able to support friends going through tough times as I would like and wish I could spend more nice time with DH. Am trying to put on my own oxygen mask first, as advised in counselling, but doesn't make me feel less guilty letting others down.

Thank you for replying , its like I need to write a really long list , but that would take up too much time

I am hopeless at delegating too , which doesn't help matters . Been at work until now , get home and the dishwasher is still full , couple of bits missing but no-one has had the thought to empty it , I put it on before I left for work otherwise it would be full of dirty stuff . I do 99.9% of all the housework , the little I do , its like firefighting , a constant battle of 3 and a half ( the elderly incontinent cat ) against 1

Gosh! This sounds like me... I am really struggling at the moment. I have no help or support. Feel like I am just surviving. I have been crying a lot recently too because I just feel like I’m failing at everything and running on empty

OP - in all honesty you don't sound like a failure . You sound like someone with a lot on your plate. Recognise this and be kind to yourself.

I can relate to this! Juggling so many balls they feel like they are all starting to crash down. Not much help but lots of sympathy.

Yes, every day. I honestly am in awe of people who manage to do everyday things like get up on time, shower regularly, feed themselves healthy food every day, do their laundry, keep a tidy house and hold down a job. It feels like a monumental struggle to do all those things. I'm self employed and unless I have to leave the house to work I won't get dressed and will probably forget to eat. I haven't done laundry in so long I've run out of clean pants. I honestly have no idea how people find it easy, let alone those who have kids as well! I can't look after myself, couldn't cope with another human. I'm a failure at existing, you sound like you're already doing better than me!

I think having support, or rather not having it, seems to be such a big part of this all. Just someone to occasionally lighten the load would make the rest of the time easier to bear.

Yes. I was feeling so low earlier. I’m not happy in my job but being a part time flexi worker due to childcare issues makes it so hard to change. My career has completely stalled in the past few years. My relationship isn’t great, I put up with way more shit than I ever thought I would. I feel trapped due to finances, I couldn’t afford to house me and the dc in the area we live in. I’m 10lbs overweight. I’ve lost touch with friends who I should make more effort with. Most heartbreakingly, my eldest dc is struggling with friendships and I can’t help him. I feel overwhelmed and like a failure much of the time.

X-post with slothface, doesn't make things less hard whatever you're struggling with though, kids or not.

I hear you. If it helps, you are so not alone.

OP you are not failing. Seems like you are juggling everything. Perhaps you need to have a family pow wow and delegate a few chores. The work load isn’t balanced by the sounds of things.

God yes, I felt so weary today I just thought "I'm so done with life" - I didn't mean it literally, but life is fucking hard work

That’s exactly how I feel Fiere.

I honestly don’t think I’m depressed just reacting appropriately to what has been a really shit year.

Here too, just over doing the everyday stuff, it's so futile but I don't feel suicidal, just sad.
I have many problems, and health ones included, but never feel sorry for myself as there really are people so much worse off
Saying that I sometimes wish I could allow.myself to feel a bit sorry for myself, without guilt. It may be good to have a cry.

Working plus being a mum is a lot to handle not a stealth boast but if you can get a cleaner. I resisted for ages but it's really helped and can I relax and spend time with dc at weekends. Hope you get a break over The holidays

Slothface , you are self employed , that in itself brings struggles I couldn't cope with , bung your laundry round to mine , now the washer is fixed , after three whole days without it , I have mutated into some sort of washing demon revelling in the beauty that is an automatic machine, although , I still maintain a twintub washed better !

And I see all your daily struggles and raise you flatpack furniture , DH decided to build a piece whilst I was at work today , did most of it but needed me to be home to finish it , because what is the point of it , if an argument doesn't ensue ? So have completed flat pack item and now , after being at work all flipping day I am making dinner .

Oh and for my final offer, he has bought hideous new bloody baubles for the tree !!!!!

I have spent the last few years buying lovely decorations for the tree , and now they will be cast aside for his new orange shiny shiteness , sigh .

Rose , got boxing day and the day after off .

Can the orange shitty balls meet with a terrible accident?

Do you think Christmas is making it worse? I can usually keep on top of things (lone parent, work full time) but all the extra stuff is tipping me over the edge.

OhamI I think Christmas just adds to the daily pressures , but in all honesty I have been sliding down for a good year or so , I get the occasional spurt of enthusiasm or energy which might last a day or so , then I am back to square one , with the added bonus of feelings of failure and guilt

LEM he thinks they will go really nicely with the blue ones he believes we still have , but that were donated to charity about 5 years ago !