Feel so low.. Need to get out of this head space

[Littlelambpeep]

Feeling very vulnerable and low. No contact with family. Very stressful job (bit like nursing) and two small DC. Dh works away.

Crumbling inside tonight. If it were nor for my children I would nt want to be here but I kusr wake up feeling I have 40 years more to live and I dread it :(

I am not going to do anything silly. My DM says I am selfish and uses me for money / criticises me so I pulled away from them - but that has isolated me more. Christmas party at work - I am not going as there is always an aftermath / bitchiness and I try and keep professional.

Dh says it is only temporary and I need to forward to Christmas .. I can't. Put DC to bed here. Few tantrums this evening and will cry myself to sleep

Aw hun, it sounds like you need a big hug, and some time to yourself with a glass of wine and a good friend to chat to. It must be hard with 2 children and a busy job, with no help as your husband works away. Do you have any friends close by you could ask for a little help? Sorry to hear you’re not close with your family, but seems like your Mum was the selfish one using you so you don’t need that stress from her too. Shame there is bitchiness at work. Your husband needs to realise just how much you do and see that you need a bit of help and support. Would you be able to afford a nanny or childminder to help in the evenings a bit so it’s not all left to you? Gosh the tantrums are hard (and I only have 1 child). I’m sad you’re there crying yourself to sleep, I’m sorry I don’t have much advice just try and think positive and that your children look up to you and adore you and the tantrums are just then being able to be themselves towards the person they love the most. How old are they? It will soon get a little easier with the tantrums I’m sure. Hugs to you because it sounds like you’re doing an amazing job.

Sorry to read your post. You sound like an amazing person to have brought two children into the world and do the job that you do and support your DH the way you are. Are there any changes you could make to your routine to give yourself a bit of a breather? What would help you / make you feel better about things?

Thank You so much. Just off the phone to dh and had a good cry - both DC are preschool age but generally good. Very funny and loving.
Don't have anyone other that dh I could confide in. I have a lot of work friends but others went off the scene once I married and had DC. So felt a bit used ( only good for a night out)

Anyway dh said I need to make a plan, plan some positive things. Dh oa very work restricted and tends to do diy at weekends so I mostly do stuff on my own with DC including holidays.

I’m pleased your DH is supportive and understanding, although a shame he maybe can’t give you a bit more time or time off at the weekends, maybe that’s what you need, a night away together or a spa weekend for you self. That’s a shame your other friends went off the scene. Yes planning something positive sounds like a good idea.

Thanks kit. I took today off to recharge a bit. I am thinking of retraining and looking into another job. I also am reading a lot and exercise seems to be recommended so much so might go back swimming (I could go in the mornings before work and at weekends) dh is being very supportive. I think I was very very honest with him and he knows now how I feel

Thanks for your kindness