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Mental health

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single mum/teacher

7 replies

Kinderegg89 · 10/12/2017 18:20

I have been working in my school for three years now and do not have my dip completed. There have been many times I could have completed my dip but was always given to another person, which was fine- until the end of last term (June 2017). I worked obscenely hard , like most teachers do, working late, displays, extra school activities etc. My daughter goes to the school too. My principal has a reputation but I seemed to be on her ‘good’ side for the most part. My daughters teacher went on maternity leave in May and I was asked to cover- I immediately said yes as it was classroom experience in a class I knew was up for a job this school year. On the second last week of school, a lesson didnt go well as planned, my daughter started acting up and when I said you will have to go to another room she push her table over (while sitting down) in defiance. I turned the table the right way up and removed her from the class and carried on with my day. The principal was not in this day and by the time she did come back I thought i dealt with the matter. The next day, the principal revieced a complaint by a parent in the class saying that her child was too scared to come to school because I was shouting and what had happened. I didnt shout or roar- if anything I said this is not how we behave in class and then sent her to another room. The rest in of the class were fine when she left. The principal talked to my daughter and she was sent to another class in tears. She then called me in the middle of a lesson and said there was a complaint- she said I seemed to be struggling with the class (I wasn’t) and that I am a teacher first and a mum second and said I shoudl have asked for help (I did with the other teacher I sent her to her classroom) she then kept saying let it go , let it go and I burst into tears and agreed to everything she said like a fool because I was so upset I didnt think straight. She persisted to bombarred me with questions of where do you see yourself in five years time etc. The whole school found out about it as she sent my daughter to another class for the last week of school. I still to this day do not know who this parent was that complained. I was beyond mortified. I couldnt sleep or eat for the last week of school. I dont evean know how i managed to show up for the interview. The principal did not contact me after the interviews. All my hard work down the drain.I stayed in bed all summer and spiralled into a deep depression which I still have. Seven weeks later (aug 2017) she offered me a maternity in resource (again) and I had to say yes as no other school came back to me with an interview. I had to face the school and parents dropping my daughter off as my contract did not start until the 25th of Sept, I was having panic attacks so my father had to drop my child to school. I have been back to school and I feel evryone around me thinks im a failure and a joke. I had two interviews last week,, gave my all, and still no word. I have been to counselling, doctors you name it. My life is ruined by one stupid day. I have lost all my faith and confidence in my teaching abilities. I cant enjoy life with my daughter anymore. I wanted to complete my dip this year- I deserved a chance. The vice principal said at the time she had me down for a job and then the incident happened. Im afraid to talk to principal about this again as I already broke down in front of her crying and I dont want to do it again. Im a single mum, Ive always tried to get on with parents in my daughters class but fear they think i a horrible teacher and my daughter is too. I had a feeling they didnt like me teaching the class but I couldnt say no to my boss. All the joy has been sucked out of my life, six months of hating myself , snapping at friends and family and feeling lonely all the time. I know in hindsight I shouldn't have taught my daughter but it was a chance to progress my career that I worked so hard to get for us. What can I do? Im on the brink of suicide , I want to die but I enjoyed my life up until this point and I just wan to get back to normal or Im going to miss out on happy mments with my child. Sorry for he long post. sad

OP posts:
junebirthdaygirl · 10/12/2017 18:33

I think this is not as serious as you think. My ds was in a class where the teachers ds was. Ond day she lost the head with him for a moment. As a parent l didnt even blink. These things happen. I have taught my own dc so see nothing wrong in you choosing to elect to take that class. I dont understand why the principal made such a fuss as really you handled it well.
Im glad you are having counselling. Is there professional counselling you coulsd access?
You do nothing wrong?
You are a good teacher and l would nearly gaurantee it has been forgotten by everyone except you.
I feel for you.

Kinderegg89 · 11/12/2017 00:00

Thank you for your reply, I was feeling anxious earlier and just started typing to get it out. I really wished this parent could have seen it that way or came to me first about any concern they had. It was an absolute mess the way the principal handled it and I should have told her- could have prevent a lot of hardship but honestly did not think a parent would complain. I would have gotten a complaint if I didn't disciplined my daughter. Its the guilt and shame im carrying everyday, crying about it for six months is not healthy. I should be getting into the xmas spirit but cant even dress myself or comb my hair some days. I attended six free counselling sessions with my teachers union.. I dont know if there is a counselling service for teaching professionals, is there?

OP posts:
user789653241 · 11/12/2017 09:02

I'm sorry to hear what happened. Can't advice since not a teacher, but just thought you may get more responce from teachers if you re-post this on thestassroom, section for teachers.

user789653241 · 11/12/2017 09:03

*staffroom, not stassroom, but link works.

user1471134011 · 11/12/2017 11:16

Kinder are you based in the UK? These guys are good www.educationsupportpartnership.org.uk/helping-you/telephone-support-counselling

junebirthdaygirl · 11/12/2017 11:18

Im in lreland so the counselling we have here is provided by Department but only 6 sessions too. Is there something else going on for you in your life now or has something traumatic happened in yoyr past that tgis is triggering? The principal reacted wrongly but is there anyway you can let it go. For your sake not hers. For your career and your mental health.
We have teachers savaged by parents at times but they bounce back. Usually supported by Principal , l suppose.

LouMumsnet · 12/12/2017 12:40

Hello OP, we are really sorry to hear you are feeling this way.

We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources. You can also go to the Samaritans website, or email them on [email protected]. Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek RL help and support as well.

We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.

We are going to move this thread to the Mental Health section shortly. We hope you get some more helpful advice there.

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