Postnatal Anxiety triggered by SIDS of best friends baby

[NurseBryan]

Hi everyone, I don't normally post anywhere online talking about my feelings but I feel like I'm losing my head these last few weeks. I've always been a deep think and worrier, and this intensified when I became a nurse. But since having my little girl I have had the normal worries of any new first-time parent I assume. Will I be good enough? What if she gets ill etc etc

My little girl is almost 6 months old and I adore being her mum, she's is just perfect in every way....rewind 5 weeks and I got a call from my best friend saying her 7 week old baby had died of sudden infant death syndrome. It's been hell for me so I can't imagine what's she's going through. I've cried so much for her and I support her daily. I sang at the baby's funeral and held her when she collapsed walking into the church. The anxiety of losing my own baby in her sleep has built up very rapidly over these last few weeks and I go to bed every night preparing myself to find her dead when I go in my room. I know it's ridiculous but I can't help feeling like this no matter how hard I try to stay calm.

I feel like the constant worry is ruining my
experience as a mother, something I was enjoying every second of before my best friends baby died. We have such a great time together me and my baby, and then I start panicking about her dying in a car accident or getting cancer, or just dying in her sleep, and I get upset. Most nights I go to bed before I'm tired because I get an overwhelming anxiety about her and want to be close to her.

Has anyone experienced anything similar to me?

Holly x

Hi Holly I've just posted similar on another thread- it's horrible isn't it. For me its a friend of a friend, so not as close- but I've still got the high anxiety. Sending unmumsnetty hugs x

Aww I'm so sorry to hear that I'm not the only one experiencing this and I can't imagine how these poor babies parents must feel right now. Where is your post?

I feel so guilty for feeling like this when I've got my beautiful baby next to me and as healthy as can be but it's impossible not to feel this way.

Have you thought about cbt or something? My mum thinks I need to get some help as it's taking over everything at the minute 😔x

Aww I'm so sorry to hear that I'm not the only one experiencing this and I can't imagine how these poor babies parents must feel right now. Where is your post?

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/parenting/3108727-high-anxiety-following-very-sad-news-possible-trigger-warning?msgid=73948913#73948913

The other thread you asked about is here-lots of good advice on there. CBT is really helpful for dealing with anxiety. Definitely worth pursuing. Speak to your gp about how you’re feeling-there is help out there.

Thankyou so much. Much appreciated. It's almost a relief to know that I'm not the only one experiencing this. I held the beautiful little baby boy the day before his death and I can't seem to shake the anxiety off now.

Hopefully some cbt will help and it will get better in time x

Hi op, I have severe anxiety, OCD and BPD.

When my ds was born I felt very similar to you. It was 2003, there were posters and adverts absolutely everywhere about SIDS and how to put baby down to sleep etc etc. He slept from the minute he was born, right through every night. I didn't!

I would check him constantly. I read that the risk massively decreased at 6 months and counted down the days until he was indeed 6 months and then completely relaxed. It sounds so silly typing that but I totally relate to you.

I'm so sorry about your best friend's baby

My ds is now almost 15 and I have a dd too who is almost 7 and I still check on them to see if they're breathing several times a night.
I think some of that is anxiety and some is just being a parent, you never stop worrying! Hope you're ok.

Hi there, I’m sorry to hear about your friends baby. I went through a similar experience which triggered ante natal and post natal anxiety. I’m sure that CBT will help, and if it doesn’t, there are some medications that help with anxiety. On a practical level, have you thought about getting one of those sensors which go under the baby’s mattress and sound an alarm if there is no movement (ie breathing) for 10seconds? I think angel care do one.
It’s important to listen to how you are feeling and you are doing the right thing by recognising something’s not right and seeking help. I ignored mine for too long!
X