Hello, looking for some good advice and thoughts please xx
My AH is verbally abusive towards me when he is actively abusing alcohol. After having him arrested in August this year he has since attended a 4 week rehab. Managed to stay sober for 65 days thereafter and then relapsed. I had to call the police again to have him removed from the house because he was abusive and my 2 boys were home (10 & 12). Anyway, since then he has now signed a lease on a new house for himself and wants to repair our marriage with the aim of returning home after the year is up.
He has relapsed a few times in the last few weeks and every time he threatens our marriage and only agreed to speak to me if I took 50% of the blame for our separation. Firstly I only wanted him to go elsewhere while he was actively drinking and sort his head out. He took this the totally wrong way and is now tied into a years lease.
Some days are good between us and he will join us for meals and stay over occasionally. However, tonight he states that we need to put the past to bed and move on to look to the future. I'm just not sure he is going to be able to do that let alone me.
My worst trait is that I never forget a thing. How on earth does one move on from domestic abuse. I'm not even sure he realises that he is an abuser.
I love him dearly but find life at home so much more chilled out now that he is not here - we had to walk on eggshells so that he didn't get annoyed it was terrible way to live especially for the kids.
He also said that my son (12) needs to treat him with respect even though he is hurt by him.. I though NO my son had a right to be annoyed and hurt as he has heard everything that comes out of his step dads mouth when drunk.
I am at a loss, my head will not rest and my heart aches. I know this is not an easy fix but is it even worth going through therapy ???
Lisa xx