I am really struggling.

[Flambola]

Just that really. I have always suffered from depression and have been sectioned in the past but then I really got it under control.
Then, I had a stillbirth on Christmas Day 2014. Since then I feel like I've been going through the motions. I've been prescribed all sorts.. currently on 60mg fluoxetine and zopiclane for sleeping.

I do have a DD and she is fine. She would never know anything is wrong. But I really want to hurt myself. Badly. I don't want to die... I just need some physical pain. I haven't done it in years but the urge is getting too much for me now.

I don't really know what to do. My GP is aware of some of how I'm feeling and is trying to support me through Christmas but I've not been able to tell anyone just how bad things are in my head.

Firstly a big ((((HUG))))

Do you have a partner to support you and are you under the mental health team? The crisis team should be able to arrange extra support over Christmas for you.
I had my therapist call me over the Christmas period last year when I was at risk.

If you have a partner or family talk to them, I now tell my dh when I'm feeling very low and it does help just getting out of my head.

I think you need to go back to see your GP , hopefully he will be able to urgently refer you to your mental health team. They will have community psychiatric nurses who can visit you at home or see you at their premises. You may need a readjustment of your medication to get through this. Please seek help and tell them exactly how you feel, there are services you can access but you need to ask for help. Hope it gets better soon.

Big big hugs OP
I agree with PP letting someone know how you feel (DP or a friend or other family member) is a good idea.
And are there any local charities you can call and chat to if you don't feel you can be 100% open with your GP at the moment?

I’m
So sorry for the loss of your child xxx

I lost my middle child, he died shortly after birth and tbh I don’t think it’s somethjg. You ever get Uber and it changes you for life

Have you had any help from sands at all ?

Do you hve anyone in rl you could tell your worried oh might self harm?

I guess if you felt really tempted to do it
Perhaps walk into a and e
Could be a start
Sending you love and understanding
You other child desperately needs and loves you

You could also post on the brevement section for help xxx

Thank you everyone. Unfortunately I have begun self-harming again but I am under crisis team now so hopefully will be getting the support I need.