Hi all
I’ve NC but on here most days.
I’ve been with my husband 4 years. God, I don’t know where to start. We are happily married and adore each other but there have been ongoing issues which I’ve suspected is mainly down to ADHD but exacerbated by him previously being in a LTR with a narcissist which has its own issues at best, so it’s safe to say he’s quite a complex individual.
To add to the complexity I have ASD but am very much in control and understanding of my own needs and adapt my life to suit. He’s similar so we rub along and enjoy the same lifestyle nicely.
I’m going to list what I’ve noticed. Before I do, unlike his previous partner, I never criticise, nag or put him down as I’ve spotted things fairly early on so I’ve managed my expectations accordingly:
- Severe procrastination and I mean, it’s bad. We’ve been in some pretty close calls because doing a simple task to get things changed for the better is monumental to him.
- Leaving important tasks until the last minute, then getting stressed and feeling down because he can’t cope as they all come to a head.
- Starting many projects but never finishing them 100%, if at all. He particularly likes taking things apart then not putting them back together for months, or longer.
- Difficulty in “getting going”
- Things he does do he does almost to an OCD level of perfection and often gets so distracted on one particular element, then it peters off and the job isn’t quite finished.
- Often calls himself hopeless, useless and wishes he was stronger
- Road rage
- Any job times x 10 on how long it should take.
- Damaging adult relationships due to his perceived “indifference” and “not caring”
10. He is super intelligent but dropped out of school at 14 and led a life, shall we say, has disappointed him.
11. Very low self esteem.
Anything he does I encourage etc but it is frustrating as my ASD means I’m very rigid and ritualised in how I do things.
So, he’s feeling pretty crap. He has asked me to make an appt and go with him so to help explain to the doc just how bad it is.
Is this typical? What can we expect from the GP?
Thanks for reading. Trying not to drip feed but there’s so many things I could write a book!