I don’t plan on harming myself, btw.
I have chronic illness and I’ve picked up a series of viruses so I’ve been run down and coughing badly for weeks - literally the start of September. This has left me very fatigued and my mood has taken a serious dive.
My main worry is that this is my life now. Much of my identity has revolved around my work and I’m able to do less and less. I’ve missed lots of days and I now look flaky and unreliable where I was once respected. I’m hardly doing a fraction of what I was, but even this is hard. I’m supposed to be doing some contract work at home too, but I’m really struggling with focus and motivation. We need the income, so that’s a worry, but without being out at work, I feel listless. I can’t throw myself into housework due to illness. I am just so very sad and tired. I really feel like my life is over at 38 and I haven’t got a clue how to make it better. 😞