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AIBU to feel jealous of other 'normal' people and want more support (POSSIBLE TRIGGER WARNING - I DON'T WANT TO UPSET ANYONE)

12 replies

Coffeeplease88 · 20/11/2017 21:35

After years of struggling with boyfriends (i hate you, i love, i idealize you, why are hurting me) and the last 8 years of being diagnosed with depression, given meds, counselling and a stay in the mother and baby unit hospital, i have recently been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder as I am experiencing a particularity bad crisis brought on my numerous stressful factors including an extremely intense relationship which has lasted almost a year and my eldest son's father being horrendous towards me, for which i have now begun reporting abusive behavior to the police, this behavior has been ongoing for six years but i now think it best to start a log of it.I am also doing a Masters degree which some argue I need to stop, but i see it s my buoy, my one constant which will hopefully lead to a career for my children and I.
MY self harm is at its worst, although I have been receiving immense emotional self harm from my current relationship , my physical self harm is at time a calm compulsion, like snowhite and the spinning needle. i am suicidal and think of hurting others, but less so the last two days. I love and adore my beautiful young children, but they re too much for me right now, I dot feel equipped for looking after them to as high a level as i wish. they are clean, fed, watered, taken on activities and involved in extra-curricular, but i use a matter of fact tone with them, I try to not get too involved in conversations (they are 2 and 7). I wish i could ask their fathers for help, I feel as though i really need a break from the caring side of life, as I can barely care for myself, i loath myself right now. there are two sides of me, one side gets on and completes most tasks including being a other, even if it is a superficial one,the other side does not care for others, is impatient, scribbled thoughts, wants to sabotage and ruin all close relationships, hurts me multiple times a day on my thighs using more and more instruments, and wants to die or run away, telling me I'm a burden and people deserve more.
I am under Intensive home treatment, GP, seeing Psychiatric doctor on Thursday, under a joint mental health team and on the waiting list for complex trauma level four (whatever that is!) I am also having a social work assessment this week for a supportive capacity.
I tried to join the parent council in a hope to make friends, but I am so ashamed (this was even before crisis) I have joined in at all. I also keep thinking i should break up with my B/F...i had these thoughts before crisis also, but he has been incredible since it started, and i can overreact.
ANYWAY...I desperate be normal, to be strong, to make my own decisions, to stop being jealous, and for SUPPORT ! Anyway, I'm not sure what I'm hoping to get back, i suppose i just need to hear it will be ok.
thank you so much for reading.

OP posts:
MaidOfStars · 20/11/2017 21:41
Flowers

Why can’t you ask your childrens’ fathers for support with them/respite/holiday?

Madonnasmum · 20/11/2017 21:42

Do you have crisis team you can call? You sound very brave, but sound like RL support is needed?

outofmydepth45 · 20/11/2017 21:43

If your willing to work at it and follow gp advice and be medication compliant then you can get to 'normal' Others will phrass it better

outofmydepth45 · 20/11/2017 21:43

Do you have a number to call ?

missingmonkey · 20/11/2017 21:44

Are you me? I'm jealous you have 2 though.

And jealous of the normal people.

Flowers
Coffeeplease88 · 20/11/2017 22:08

the relationship between my eldest father and i is in ruins, he HATES me, stood in my front garden a couple of weeks ago telling me "im not right" and "your life is a joke" repeatedly... but do you think it is reasonable to ask them for support? I became fixated on it on today. Im struggling with my eldest at times, ive felt recently that i have a bit of a dislike for him and he is so loud and demanding at times, not always, but enough to make me feel more tense. it will be two weeks nearly before his father has him. my youngest goes to his father every weekend

OP posts:
mumofthemonsters808 · 20/11/2017 22:22

I can't offer any advice on your mental health, but I just wanted to say you sound amazing: you're academic, you must be to even be doing a masters degree, you're juggling two young children with little support from anyone, you're also handling an abusive ex.Gee wiz, I think you're underestimating your inner strength, life would be a lot simpler if you just stayed in bed, but you're fighting to improve things for you and your children and you will get there. I take my hat off to you.

Desmondo2016 · 20/11/2017 22:29

You really are amazing. Are your mental health professionals/gp aware of your current self harm levels. If they are Not, you need to tell someone exactly what you have put here. First thing tomorrow.
Can you do that?

Coffeeplease88 · 21/11/2017 07:50

Thank you so much for saying that, made me cry. I’m onsessing over messaging the ex of my eldest and telling him he needs to have his son this weekend as I’m not well...social work said they may speak to him too but I feel as though I can’t wait for them, I need to do it now...something along the lines of “I am
Very unwell right now, so it is very important you have @& this weekend as my mother has been helping all week...my brother may phone you at my request, as may some health professionals, but it is imperative you take responsibility this weekend to allow me some respite”????

OP posts:
KathArtic · 21/11/2017 08:08

That text sounds perfect to me.

Think about postponing your Masters. It can wait. Sort yourself and your children out first and restart it when you are really ready to take it back on.

Coffeeplease88 · 21/11/2017 08:34

Ok thanks kath
I also feel compelled to say I’m not that great...I’m on benefits in a rented house whilst studying so you could still say I’m a sponge or procrastinating...I have been told that...I don’t know why I just felt I had to say 🙈🙈🙈

OP posts:
SophieLMumsnet · 21/11/2017 11:55

Hi OP,

We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources. We can see you're getting some RL support - but should you feel you need to, you can also go to the Samaritans website, or email them on [email protected]. Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters.

We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.

We are going to move this thread to the Mental Health section shortly. Flowers

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