Since my teens I have had highs and lows. A few weeks ago I started having a high. I suddenly on a whim signed up as a course rep at uni, I did all my assignments two months before they are due in, I started writing a novel (huge, epic and sprawling), started making a quilt for my daughter, found myself planning a new bathroom despite the fact we have no money at all. My sleep was all over the place as I was awake all night planning all the stuff I was doing. I had feeling of euphoria, when I felt completely connected with the world and almost overwhelmed by how wonderful everything is (if I wasn't an atheist I would call it a religious experience).
I have now crashed. I am feeling really depressed and low. I can't find the motivation to do uni stuff for my seminar tomorrow. I just want to sleep and have been sneaking back into bed on and off all day to just lie there. I have been crying for no particular reason other then feeling like everything has been sucked out of me.
This sort of high followed by a crash is pretty common for me. I regularly have phases when I go into an intense planning mode, I always know I will crash afterwards. Over the years I have learnt to self manage for the most part. I stopped drinking alcohol completely about 7 years ago. I journal and meditate and have sought counselling or private CBT when I have felt unable to get things back under control. I've only been the to the GP once a long time ago and they offered me antidepressants. I declined and never went back as it just didn't feel right at the time.
In the past I have dismissed the idea of being bipolar as I have always kept functioning, so figured it can't be that serious. I have never been in crises I don't think and generally people don't seem to notice there is a major issue with me, except to be a bit bemused that I have just taken up some new hobby or rewritten all the office procedures on a whim.
I've recently come across cyclothymia and it seems to describe what is happening with me, but there isn't really that much out there about it, so it's hard to say. Besides, I'm probably not the best judge of anything right now. I was wondering if anyone else has this or can talk to me a bit about it?