(I've name changed for this, but I've been around for a while.) Things have been simmering for a while. I've been married for just over three years but my marriage is on its last legs. I've accepted this and know I need to move on, and to do this I need to save up, but I can't. I spend all my spare money on stupid stuff. I'm part of a faith community who are my main support network, which I seem to be trying to sabotage at the moment (I haven't been going to church for a month now). I've become incredibly antisocial and want to shut myself off from the world, I just can't handle people at the moment. My job involves being around lots of people, and that just wipes me out, and I find myself really short tempered when I'm at work I have a history of depression and self harm, I've started cutting myself again, and yet I don't cry, I don't feel depressed, I just feel angry, at myself, my husband, and at the things going on in the world that I can't do anything about. This morning I lost my favourite pen and that felt like the last straw. 
This is also affecting my physical health, my IBS keeps flaring up and my heart races and I feel short of breath when I feel particularly stressed or upset.