My life is objectively very good - why am I so unhappy and what can I do about it?

[MonkeyJumping]

I have two lovely healthy children, a lovely home, my husband tries very hard to make me happy/arrange fun things to do etc. We're wealthy so I'm a SAHM but have a nanny housekeeper as well, and can have as much leisure time as I want.

But....I'm miserable. It's getting worse. I'm not suicidal, but I do think about getting hit by a bus or something - I wouldn't have to do this anymore, the children are young enough to forget me, DH would meet somebody else, the nanny would probably be better at looking after the children anyway.

I'm just unhappy, but it's ridiculous and I can't work out why or how to improve it.

I had a mini version of this. I had PND after my DC2 and I panicked and hired a maternity nurse. We already had a nanny for DC1. So I had oodles of help and nothing to do. Funnily enough the PND got worse - I think I was doing so little that it made me feel incapable and scared in case I couldn't do it. It only got better after the maternity nurse left and I had to get busy looking after the baby.

So I agree - you need to be busy. Either work, or looking after your DC, or at the least volunteering/PTA.