Why am I feeling so bad?

[abbsisspartacus]

Yesterday I passed my driving test I've been working on it for fucking years failed twice gone on anti anxiety meds upped the meds finally passed and I'm sad I mean really low on the floor low why am I not happy? This changes everything I'm 42 I've got three kids been through hell with my ex husband this could change my life in such a good way I even have a car ready to go

What the fuck is wrong with my brain?

Is it SAD triggering this?

I was absolutely fine until this weekend. My body was aching I have been feeling unwell and it just tipped me over the edge to feeling a bit depressed. I hope it doesn't descend into its usual winter blues I had honestly thought they had gone.....!

I often find that achieving something I've been striving and hoping for can bring a collapse down into a more depressed state.

I think that it is something to do with the fact that having a goal is a form of focus and motivation, which we lose when we have obtained the goal.
It is also a way of deflecting a lot of our unhappiness onto a single cause ('If only I could drive, things would be better'). We lose this opportunity for deflection when we achieve the goal ('Now I can drive and things are funadmentlly the same').
Also, if you are a self-critical person, any achievement brings a kind of cruel assault of self-deflation in in its wake: One hour of 'wow, I should be so proud' is followed by a days-long hangover of 'Why should you be proud you loathesome thing, everyone can drive, what took you so long?'
And finally ... being able to drive is naturally a source of new anxieties as you feel obliged to start actually using your skill, which is nerve-wracking at first.

So, several different ways of feeling shit about something good! I really hope you can be kind to yourself and remind yourself hourly to feel proud of what you have achieved. Congratulations.