I had an abortion back in January and it's still affecting my life every single day. I've never wanted kids and when I found out I was pregnant I was immediately 100% certain I wanted an abortion. It was just before Christmas and so I had to wait 3 and a half weeks for the appointment. During that time I stopped being repulsed by the idea of being pregnant and started caring about it, but by that time I felt like I was too far along the road to abortion. The dad (a friend of mine) didn't want to keep it, I knew I'd never wanted kids and I just felt numb and went through with it without really thinking.
For months after that I regretted it so much, cried every day, and just generally like I was dazed, the feelings took me totally by surprise, I didn't think it would affect me. I still think about it now every day and regret it a bit, but not with the same intensity and I don't really cry about it any more. I do think about what I'd have been doing today if I'd decided to keep it all the time though.
Anyway, the depression and regret seems to have mostly lifted, but I seem to have been left with dreadful anxiety, which I didn't have before. I feel churned up and nervous all the time and the tiniest little thing which would've been like water off a duck's back this time last year has me worrying for ages. I feel terrified, like there's a sense of doom, almost constantly and I don't know how to get rid of it. Has anyone had similar anxiety after an abortion and did it ever go away? I hate how much it's changing me.