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Mentor to 13yo with suicidal tendencies - your thoughts please

8 replies

franch · 14/04/2007 13:22

For a long time I've taken an interest in DH's best friend's daughter, as we have a lot in common both personality-wise and in terms of interests - she reminds me of myself at that age in some ways. For about 5 years now she's had severe self-worth issues, and she herself reckons she was clinically depressed for a couple of years, during which she was suicidal. The family had therapy about 3 years ago but she refused to talk to the therapist.

I've never had the chance to get really close to her till now - a while ago I made it clear to her and her parents that I was here for her, and would love to chat to her about the things we're both passionate about, her future, etc., and yesterday her dad took me up on my offer and brought her round for the evening.

We talked till 2am, first about our interests, careers etc, and then (when DH and her dad came back) about her confidence problems and suicidal thoughts. It all got quite emotional and I had another chat with her on her own before they left.

I intend to keep in touch with her as much possible without being pushy, and to take the opportunity to share our interests together in the hope that this will keep the channels of communication open. We also talked last night about the possibility of trying professional help again - no idea if she'll go for this or not.

Anyway just wanted to discuss this really, as it feels like quite a responsible position I've put myself in, and if she chooses not to seek professional help then I could potentially end up as a kind of substitute counsellor. I've helped my brother through mental illness and suicidal tendencies in the past but am far from qualified to deal with such a delicate situation and don't want to get out of my depth.

So - thoughts, advice, support and back-up welcome.

OP posts:
gothicmama · 14/04/2007 13:28

you need to set some boundares in place as to what you can do, you also need to find somewhere for you to off load as well or explain you lik eher will support her but you can not help her other than as a friend

PeachyChocolateEClair · 14/04/2007 13:52

Hiya

OK, I am a mentor professionally (or unprofessionally depending on your opinion I guess), i cant reply now but i will later in depth, and I can ut youin touch with someone who knows a lot about suidice and young people(she lost her son asd ahas since trained in bereavement / counselling)

HTH

franch · 14/04/2007 15:28

Thanks gothic. And Peachy, I look forward to hearing from you - that'd be really helpful.

Am going to send her a quick email now.

If she doesn't go for help I'm thinking of seeing if I can find a book for her to read - she's an avid reader. Will start a separate thread on this and won't rush out and buy anything till I'm sure it'll be helpful.

I've also texted a psychologist friend and will hopefully have a chat with her soon.

OP posts:
franch · 14/04/2007 15:31

Should've mentioned, DH & I also learned a lot a few years ago from dealing with a teenage niece who chose to confide in us about being abused. But that's not to say I feel equipped to deal with this.

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PeachyChocolateEClair · 15/04/2007 21:33

My e-mail is peaches and cream 04 at bt internet dot com if you want to e mail me to chat about this

franch · 16/04/2007 17:38

Thanks so much peachy, have just emailed

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franch · 19/04/2007 20:32

did you get my email peachy?

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franch · 14/05/2007 20:17

Peachy??

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