As per my name

[Canijustdisappear2017]

I just want to disappear.

Nothing has gone right for about 2 years & today everything has come to a head.
I am being really nice to my DP whilst secretly packing a large handbag ready to get up early & just disappear.
He doesn’t deserve this but I just can’t stay any longer - the walls feel like they are closing in.
I am currently receiving CBT & desperately trying to put it into practice but I know I need to go

Hand hold OP. Do you know where you are going to go? Please tell him that you are safe. I know it's hard.

Try to ring the crisis team, someone in real life who can help you, or maybe the Samaritans on 116 123. Baby steps, things will look ok at some point again in the future.

What's happened today to bring this on? I know it's an accumulation but what pushed you today? Can you call the Samaritans? A friend?

Hello OP, we are really sorry to hear you are feeling this way.

We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources. You can also go to the Samaritans website, or email them on [email protected]. Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek RL help and support as well.

We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.

We are going to move this thread to the Mental Health section shortly.