I am emotionally abusing myself

[Ohdearducks]

My councillor has helped me to recognise this recently.
In my head I constantly berate, belittle and verbally abuse myself. I have been doing this for around 5 years I think.
It’s probably why I have no self esteem or confidence, why I’ve allowed myself to become morbidly obese, why I don’t look after myself or care about myself.
The more I abuse myself the more I hate myself the more I treat myself badly physically and emotionally.
The fatter I get the more I abuse, the more I abuse the fatter I get.
What the fuck is wrong with me?

Counsellor I mean, my local member of parliament actually has nothing to do with this 🤦🏻‍♀️

I've been through this too. I had CBT & the counsellor told me I need to speak to myself the way I'd speak to a friend. I remind myself of this when I descend back into old habits & it's been helpful- I try to treat myself kindly like I would a friend & that includes the way I talk to & about myself. Good luck OP

uhhuhh
Thanks for commenting, that makes sense and my counsellor suggested similar and made me see that I wouldn’t treat someone else like this so I shouldn’t treat myself like it but it’s so hard, I’m so convinced I deserve to be treated like this that I can’t stop myself