Crazy thoughts

[notasundaylover]

Good morning, so I woke up in the early hours today with another panic attack if that’s what you call it, one of many. I’m 43 married with 2 beautiful children everything is ok in my life apart from a couple of things that seem to be worrying me and giving me panic attacks and I think I may be on my on with this one as I’ve never heard anyone with a problem like me. My problem if you can call it that is I’m very close to my parents so much so that I’m beginning to have panic attacks of them dying. They are very healthy for their age 82 and 73 but I’m so worried about losing them it’s making me ill, sleepless nights, heart palpitations, anxiety. It’s just awful, am I the only person that suffers with this? I’m having palpitations even writing this post, I love my parents dearly and the thought of losing one of them just destroys me. Is this something I should see my doctor about. I’m awake most nights thinking about it, is anyone else going through this and how do you cope with it?

You definitely need help. It is not a case of what is normal, its how you feel that is important.
Many of us have close relationships with our parents but dying is a part of life. I think you need help to come to terms with this because anxiety, sleepless nights etc will.make you physically ill. Please see your GP and be honest about how you feel.
I lost both my parents in their 80s I love and miss them but they dont "go away" I have so many memories and they will always be with me.
I hope you can get past these feelings so you can enjoy the years a head and cope when the time comes.

Thanks for you reply and I’m sorry your parents have passed.

These feelings have been going on for years, I remember my Mum saying to me many years ago to stop worrying and enjoy these years but that has passed so quickly and I just can’t help myself thinking that this maybe their last Christmas, birthday, Anniversary etc. It’s a nightmare. I have been to CBT but I don’t feel it did any good. My only other hope is medication but I didn’t want to go down that route, maybe it’s time and I don’t have any choice.

I dont think CBT helped because there has been no bereavement.
Its so sad you are being eaten up by these worries. Please seek help and tell your parents how you feel.
I am sure they will be concerned that you are making yourself ill
Please believe me when I say life does not end when our parents die we just move on to a different phase.

I just feel a bit embarrassed by this, why do I feel like this and it’s been for most of my life. It’s really sad I know, but I can’t think about my life without them and it is as though I’m grieving but nothing has happened. I’m not sure what my GP can do for me. I do think I need to get a grip but then I go back to those feelings.

To me it sounds like you're having obsessive thoughts or invasive thoughts. See your GP. There is help available for you to manage these. It's not uncommon.