I can't do this anymore

[TooLateNotAnymore]

I’ve tried.
So long.
But it’s not enough.
Whatever I do.
How do you keep going?

[Anymajordude]

What about help for you?

[TooLateNotAnymore]

If I explain it would be awful if DC found it.

[Anymajordude]

Have you seen your doctor about your stress problems?

[TooLateNotAnymore]

Help for me?
No.
No one thinks of help for me.
I cope.
Always.
Sick child.
Need the salary so can’t stop.
It’s what I am expected to do.

[Allabitmuchisntit]

Just stay on here for a bit and talk about whatever you want.

[TooLateNotAnymore]

I can’t stop crying.
Easier not to start.
DH is snoring.
Oblivious.

[Phantomoutforthechill]

Have you a child who is ill?

[TooLateNotAnymore]

Thank you.
It’s hard to explain.
But it’s hard always being strong.

[Anymajordude]

Can you get signed off work for a bit? Sounds like you're doing an amazing and difficult job. Hope your DC is doing ok.

[PenelopeStoppit]

Can you wake him up and talk to him?

[PurpleDaisies]

If your dh is oblivious, talk to him. Don’t sugar coat how you’re feeling.

[Allabitmuchisntit]

Crying is good. Get it all out.

[TooLateNotAnymore]

Yes.
Potentially better.
Potentially not.
But everyone else is collateral damage.

[TooLateNotAnymore]

I can’t talk to DH.
He’d go into his shell.
He can’t cope.
So expects me to.

[Allabitmuchisntit]

Like you just want everything to just stop for a bit so you can catch a breath and not have to think.

[PenelopeStoppit]

Could you write it down for him then and leave it for him to read when you are not about?

[colouringinagain]

It's soooo hard being the strong one. I know. I've been doing it for the last five years.

However bad you feel, your dc love you.

What's happened today?

[AdoraBell]

Keep posting here.

[2017SoFarSoGood]

I know what you mean. It is shit when you have to always be the strong one. You sound so strong; sometimes the strong ones get dumped on more. Can you wake your DH and tell him how you feel? Just say it. Don't put the light on, maybe just lie in the dark and tell him. Open your heart. Sometimes it just needs to be said.

[TooLateNotAnymore]

Allabitmuch
Yes.
But worse.
Dc3 suffering.
DC2 holding it together.
Dc1 I don’t know.

[Anymajordude]

Writing stuff down can be cathartic in itself.

[Phantomoutforthechill]

I think you are showing real strength by asking for advice and realising coping is hard.

[TooLateNotAnymore]

Can’t re DH.
I’d just have to deal with the fall out from that too.
His way of coping is “head in sand”
Over to me - as I always do.

[TooLateNotAnymore]

If helps to write it down.
But I came close to cracking recently
More so tonight.
Its relentless

[PurpleDaisies]

What would have happened if you had cracked?