I had a head injury and post concussion syndrome in 2015 and subsequently suffered a breakdown.
I also have quite a lot of cogntive issues and my brain still feels ‘slowed down’ when I try to think or concentrate intensely, reading new material or books etc. Even after about 10 minutes, I feel like I have to stop and rest as my brain just doesn’t have the capacity to work in the same way as it used to. I just don’t feel as quick, sharp or intelligent as before.
Coupled with an involuntary movement disorder, I am having real anxiety about working again in a similar role (I was a freelance copywriter from home), and dread having to go for job interviews and keep applying for any non-career or writing roles, or anything related to public facing roles as I feel lacking in confidence about my abilities and very self conscious of my involuntary movements that include lip smacking and grimacing.
My friend today gave me a bit of a pep talk and said I really need to get another job now, to stop limiting myself when it comes to job options and to apply for anything. She also said I need to see if I can get PIP if I really did think I was that disabled mentally. I did apply for PIP last year, and told them of all my medical conditions but they didn’t think I was bad enough to warrant any help at all.
I feel so scared. Scared of failure, scared of being judged, scared to apply for a job I don’t think I could do or want, but may have to do to get some money.
My friend was being harsh but is right. I’m not really eligible for PIP as I don’t see how they can assess a brain injury as it is really ‘invisible’. I just need a confidence boost, careers advice, and prob a kick up the arse.
I was happy working from home as a freelance as I didn’t have the stress of social anxiety and being around other people, and I could do a job that I was fairly competent at before my head injury.
Now I guess i’m maybe making excuses as I don’t want to face the future and the things / anxieties a new job may bring.