whats the root of your anxiety?

[ssd]

I'd say mine is lack of family, lack of support and just feeling isolated from a young age

whats yours?

A culmination of lots if things over the years.

Low self esteem
Lack of affection given as a child
Grooming as a teenager (only realised it was grooming last year, before then I blamed myself for being a silly girl)
Constant money worries
Death of my dad
Illness then death of my mum

Have all mixed together to make me messed up. Add in a major fear of anything medical means I can't get the help I clearly need. I braved the doctors earlier this year to be told I need to eat better and 'get out more'. That's me done with medical help now.

losing my parents did it for me too

Events that happened when I was a teenager that I never told anyone about. Consequently I’m very much a closed book and struggle to form meaningful friendships. I still often cry about it when I’m alone. What I went through will stay with me forever and I wish I had counselling afterwards.

verynaiceham you can have counseling now, it's never to late. Talk through it and close the door on it. Doing that will help you improve on so many things. Good luck and hope you go for it

@Louw12345 I have thought about it but I’m so afraid of opening up about it all and the feelings will come rushing back again and just not sure if I’m ready for all that yet (even though it was over 15 years ago!) I feel like st the moment I can harbour it safely in my mind and cry alone when I need to but I know this isn’t really a long term solution

Please find the strength from somewhere. My sister is the same 20 years plus with something she won't open up about and I see the pain in her eyes.

I am just about to start Sertraline for the first time. I am also hugely anxious about it making me feel worse before it makes me feel better. I am sitting here getting more and more anxious about it.

My anxiety has been bad today on the way home from a weekend away. Alot of it stems from a job I hate but feel stuck in. I also have issues from childhood which are nothing compared to what some have experienced but affect me badly. Its around not wanting to draw attention to myself, feeling stupid and a lot of issues around not being near a toilet.

I fucking hate this.

Sensitive nature, explosive father, atmosphere of fear in the house, neglected by both parents, EA boyf late teens. Weird LTR in 20s (but anxiety had started before then). Lack of money, confrontation or people being grumpy, and tiredness triggers it now.

Oh and caffeine.

Sertraline saved my life too.

To pps who are worried about starting to take it, I didn't have any unpleasant side effects at all (a touch of insomnia and a little bit of jaw clenching. Randomly).

Life on sertraline is not just bearable, but it's pleasant. I've no daily tedious grinding anxiety about anything at all anymore.

It's rather nice

I'm not sure what the root of mine is. My Mum and Nana described themselves as "worriers" which in reality was more than likely anxiety, I definitely think that has influenced me, but to what extent I don't know.
I am not on medication, but have had a bad run recently, after a really good year or so. DP ordered me some 5tp capsules as he heard they might help.

My children. I love them so much but dear god do I worry. If it were just me/just me and DH I wouldn't care if we had nothing and lived under a bridge eating tinned beans. Sure it wouldn't be ideal but I wouldn't really care. But with my children everything is a constant worry. Money for a decent house, school fees etc. Making sure that they learn everything that they should, always worrying that we do not spend enough time with them or that they are not happy enough. I know rationally that everything is fine, they are happy, the financial situation is fine. But I still worry.

Ds' health, loneliness, money, returning to work after being off sick since January to take care of ds.

Abusive childhood, having to be NC with my entire family, severe bullying throughout secondary school, growing up with very few friends (no friends at all now) being ugly... then an abusive relationship on top of all that pretty much finished me off.

Sigh

I can't think of anything I can attribute to my anxiety. I had a happy childhood, have never lost anyone close to me, am happily married, have 2 lovely healthy children and up to now have had a fairly successful career as a teacher.

And yet I am often still a ball of anxiety and stress which does sometimes tip over into depression. I dread to think what I would be like if I did actually have to deal with anything difficult in my life.

Pathetic really

Hmm....betrayal last year resulting in low self esteem, loss of 2 loved ones in the meantime, health condition preventing me from doing certain jobs, current career im in is making me miserable. I’ve lost myself over the last few years.

My anxiety manifested properly after the birth of dd2 when I was35. Looking back I can see it was festering underneath for all of my adult life if not my childhood.

My parents marriage was volatile and I was badly bullied at school. I left at 16 due to this. From the age of 12 I was groomed by a friend of the family and he had me in his thrall until I was at least 17 (only looking back now I can see it for what it was).

Now my anxiety is mostly health related but also about my children.

I also have negative self esteem. But sadly I am also not a very nice person so this is reinforced by having no friends. Dp stays because of dd2

AnxiousMunchkin and RavenLG, what you both said. I really don't want my entire life to be defined by my childhood but I currently have days when I just can't get past it. Plus when the ''I am worthless' message is so strong it barely seems worth making any effort to change if that makes sense. Today is one of those days, yesterday was not.

Health, money and not having any support or close family.

Money worries, health, lack of self confidence = no one likes me, no one cares ...

Weirdly a mild issue in my youth around socialising paired with a dental phobia as I got older. Both things seem to intertwined and have taken over my life to the point I am not living a normal life. I've never told anybody that before!

A series of CBT revealed my childhood and essentially relationship with my mum. Constantly told me (and still does) how terrible i was as a child and if she had of had me first she wouldnt of had anymore children (i have an older sibling who can do no wrong). Smacked a lot as a child leaving handprints which no doubt would be abuse now. Constantly told i would fail if i didnt....(namely homework and study). Never said L word in our house nor any real affection.
Now suffer with bouts of depression with near constant anxiety. Desperate not to make mistakes, hate failing but always feel like a failure no matter what. Crave friendships and become distraught by losing friends (naturally or through me pushing them away when I believe they do not care about me at all).
Its just shit. Thankfully i have a reasonably patient dh (wearing thin though) and DC who I quite often smother with love and affection, most likely over compensating for lack of love and affection i had as a child. Poor kids