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How can I help a young, gay colleague who is lonely and depressed (Bristol)?

10 replies

bzz7 · 03/10/2017 20:48

I would be very grateful for any tips on organizations designed to help gay people meet/support each other, especially in the Bristol area.

I'm a newcomer to the UK and don't know how to advise a younger colleague who has asked for help. He is the kind of guy who seems to have everything going for him. But a few weeks ago, he broke down when we were working late and told me that he is having a very hard time right now. He has intense work stress, depression, and has just ended a years-long relationship that seems to have been quite exploitative of him. He feels very lonely and would like some gay friends, but is shy. It's hard for him to reach out and he doesn't feel ready to date.

He is making a huge effort to help himself, but work consumes most of his time/energy and the attempts he has made to meet people online haven't gone well. He doesn't know the Bristol area or gay scene very well himself, having been in an isolating relationship for a few years.
Mumsnet is probably the last place I should be looking for help on this particular subject, but I'm hoping that someone out there has a relative or friend who has used certain strategies or organizations to get social. It would be great to be able to point him to a group that attracts men (he is about 30 years old) who are either interested in dating or friendship. Thanks for any advice.

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ilovechocolates · 03/10/2017 22:06

Is there a gay quarter/village where you live? Straight ppl go there too so it’s mixed.

I know gays who use POF, and Grindr is infamous I think but perhaps not wuite wat he’s looking for

ilovechocolates · 03/10/2017 22:07

*quite

bzz7 · 03/10/2017 22:35

Thanks very much. No, I don't think there is a gay quarter, but maybe someone more familiar with the area would know. I have looked online, but don't see anything. Also, I think he'd be too shy to go alone.

Yes, Grindr would definitely not be his scene right now. I don't think he'd be able to deal with the rejection aspect of it. He has said that he needs friends and not dating until he is feeling a bit better, but I don't know of any purely social groups.

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ilovechocolates · 03/10/2017 22:54

There is s chat facility on POF n I have friends who use it for that. Grindr also I believe has chat facility

Google gay bars Bristol n see what comes up. Can u go with him? I’m straight but I really like the gay bars, feel safe there n it’s fun with ppl generally being happy

ilovechocolates · 03/10/2017 22:57

Try ‘Naz and Matt Foundation’. I know I’ve seen organisations that help ppl with MH issues who are gay.

Also, try the GUM clinic cos they may be able to help.

Sorry I don’t feel I’m being much help

BBQueen · 03/10/2017 23:02

There's a huge gay community in Bristol, with quite a few gay bars in Old Market. If you search online for gay networking in Bristol, there are lots of non-dating focused events you could suggest to him (I just found a book club and professionals networking at first glance).

HemanOrSheRa · 03/10/2017 23:03

There's a gay village/quarter in the Old Market area. I'll see if I can find some info. Also the Queens Shilling pub/club which is more central www.queenshilling.com.

HemanOrSheRa · 03/10/2017 23:05

Oh x post with BB there Smile. Here you go www.outbristol.co.uk/gayvillageoldmarketquarter.

dangermouseisace · 04/10/2017 00:02

Bristol Mind have some good links on their website bristolmind.org.uk/support_type/lgbt/

bzz7 · 04/10/2017 06:01

Thanks everyone! Really appreciate it. "Networking" is the magic word. I couldn't get past dating sites before I used it.

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