I’m not sure where to post this but here goes . I’m posting in so far as it might help me get some perspective and if I implement a plan maybe I might follow it. I don’t know .
From the outside looking in I am ok . I have a reasonable job but it’s parttime but the workload is too much so I struggle there . No one wants to know but I can’t get anything else And the pay is ok . The parttime affords me to spend time with the kids until they finish school , one already in college . So tomorrow I am going to write a list in work of all I need to do and startvto tackle it even if it means overtime unpaid to get on top of it .
House , I cannot keep on top of my housework . I live rural and cleaners work out too expensive when they factor petrol money in . I clean and tidy but it never seems like I do . It’s an old house with a slightly modern kitchen ( well15 years old is kitchen ) and just always looks messy . Think the problem is I’m just so overwhelmed I can’t twckle it . Even now I should be cleaning bathroom but instead I am lying down feeling sorry for myself .
Diet and exercise - just don’t see the point anymore . Feel fat and fumpry . Again I know if I put on my shoes and went for walk I would feel so much better . Food much the same . I could write a ww book but just right now don’t see the point .
So again tomorrow I am going to try and get out of this fog I am in and do one household chore and 15 mins walk . Start again slow .
I used to be fit happy and healthy . I lost both my parents close together a few years ago and I miss my mum especially. Also dh has put me through the ringer over the years with one financial problem after the other. Just hate feeling like this when I know other folk have so much worse problems . I just pretend to the outer world all is fine but inside I’m struggling and just about coping .
I’m not sure why I am writing this except I do find writing helps , and lists . So I’m going to try and tackle few things and hopefully help myself .