The world can feel like an unfriendly place when your suffering with MH illness

[unicornface]

I am have not great time atm, life in general feels too much.

I suspect that I have appeared slightly unhinged on the school run of late. Last week a lady that I encountered was super lovely, she helped me out, gave me a huge hug and sent me on my way.

...others not so much, I know that's it's not their job to be 'nice' and that they may not be feeling great themselves, but why do I focus more on the person that was unpleasant. Someone was really unforgiving yesterday, and it's knocked me for six. Part if me feels like I deserved it and it's a lesson that I need to get my shit together and be on guard because not everyone in the world is nice. The other part of me thinks that had the shoe been on the other foot that I would have been much nicer.

And why am I still upset about this? It's not the first time that this has happened.

You sound so lovely OP, and sensitive and kind. I get this too, and have been in your position too with finding some people very caring, others not quite so much.

It's often been said that others' reactions to you are their projection of how they feel about themselves and not about you. I try to keep this in mind when I feel thin-skinned, or that someone has judged me. To give you an example, an ex-friend now doesn't speak to me for reasons unknown but I suspect it may be about her feelings of loss about her miscarriage, coupled with the fact I had a miscarriage before her and I may be triggering for her, hence the need for her to have ditched me as a friend.

Another example would be an ex-friend who got offended when I said we were poor as we couldn't go on holiday, yet she is a single mum on benefits with no job through choice - but she thought I was very self absorbed and selfish for voicing my opinions.

Some people just project their feelings through anger and unkindness on others, and are not a reflection of you as a person.

If you need to chat, feel free to PM me - I have lots of experience with MH issues myself recently so can completely empathise.

I do get where your coming from.
I have felt v low lately, not helped by endless viruses and tiredness.
I don't think I have depression as some days I feel ok and have a laugh. Other days I could weep if someone is a bit off with me.
Last week my boss was a bit sharp over something and it wasn't specifically aimed at me, more a dept thing but I thought I was going to burst out crying! This isn't what I'm usually like at all! I was thinking about it for ages. I thought how we all try our best and mistakes happen where people are not robots, but he really made everyone feel like shit.
The Other day I said to my husband, I want company but actually don't want to listen to anyone elses shit. I think it's a lack of head space for it.
I'm sure it'll pass and I am trying to make positive changes in my life. I'm trying to motivate myself which is hard.
One thing to bear in mind is that people just don't know what's going on in your life and people don't always realise how their words can make you feel.
I hope things seem better soon. Please take good care of yourself. It'll improve but you aren't alone in feeling this way.

Also as noonoo says people do sometimes project their own feelings onto others.

Thank you. I'm feeling better as the day goes on. It's funny, on a good day people can be really rude and it's like water off a ducks back. Admittedly this doesn't happen all that often - people being rude that is, not me having a good day.

The lady in question has been brusque in the past which is why I was all the more annoyed with myself.

I also think that some people when they feel rubbish seek out people to cheer them up, other people look for people to try and dump their misery on or to make them feel as bad as they do. I discovered this when I worked in customer facing jobs, I had the hide of a rhinoceros back then!

It is lonely. I'm having an anxiety flare up at the moment and the truth is people my be nice enough to want to be there for you but actually when faced with it I find can't handle it. I realise at times like this it's important I am kind to myself!! Be kind to yourself, let yourself off the hook and talk her with people who really understand what we are going through