Would welcome some advice here as I am just keeping my distance from DP and his stress as it is stressing me out at the same time as making me feel frustrated. When I met him DP years ago he had had some years of psychotherapy and has periods of being quite anxious particularly when he has a lot of work to do. For the last year he has been particularly snappy, bad tempered with me in particular and at times apparently paralysed by anxiety so much so that he spends more time fretting about his work than actually getting it done. He seems to be having a particularly bad period right now, symptoms being:
Body feeling tight and unpleasant
Waking in the night and getting up to read and have tea about 3-4 am
Getting anxious about changing or deciding on social arrangements and not being able to decide what he actually wants to do
Worrying about decisions he has made, asking me about them and then often getting cross at a practical response
What doesn't help at all is that he has much less work than me so internally I just feel cross and think 'why can't you just get on with it?!' Which obv I don't say. He had a bereavement of both parents in the last few years which were not unexpected but are all in the mix too. I have suggested a couple of times that it may be worth seeing the doctor or a counsellor (to which he didn't react) but having been woken up at 6am this morning after he returned to bed it is starting to feel urgent to me. I haven't been forthcoming in engaging in long sympathetic talks about his anxieties in discussion recently because I don't feel that I can help and if I suggest solutions he is irritated with me. This is something more deep rooted that is out of my ability and I think that people who experience this difficulty have to act themselves to resolve it rather than me as his partner feeling that if I am more fun, thinking up treats to lift spirits etc, i can make him happy. I am finding that the neediness and at the same time snappiness is making me recoil.
Any suggestions gratefully received.