Living with someone who has anxiety about Home?

[kylaw]

I’m really struggling at the moment. My partner has suddenly having anxiety attacks with hearing the neighbours. He doesn’t want to live there but it’s our baby’s home. Iv recently got a new job working sat night shift and last week his anxiety was that bad he rang in work and we have come his sisters for the week for a mini break. However, it’s come to Saturday and he doesn’t want to come home which means I’m going to lose my job. I have said if we wants to stay here and I go home then up to him but either way I’m going to lose my job. I don’t know what to do I’m trying to help him but we can’t not go home ever. It’s our baby Home and our life? What do I do?

What is it about the neighbours? Are they noisy or have they upset him?
Can you not go home and go to work and maybe keep the job?

He needs to get help from GP. Anxiety is so awful to live with, I have it, medication takes the edge off and he can get referred to the well being team for therapy.

Do you hear the noises from the neighbours too? I ask this because this was the first sign of my DHs psychosis and seems to be not uncommon as an early sign. We moved house 10 times in 5 years before DH finally got so ill he completely lost touch with reality and he was diagnosed. Does he seem at all paranoid or obsessive about these neighbours? Or about anything else? I now believe that DH was hearing voices, which he attributed to the neighbours, he still thinks that it was the neighbours.

Either way he needs to see a GP. If he won't come home then get him to see a GP in the area he is in at the moment as a visitor. If possible see the GP with him or speak to them on the phone about your concerns. They may try to tell you they can't talk to you without his consent. They can't give you any confidential information, but they should listen to your concerns, that doesn't break confidentiality rules.

There's something about the tone of your post that sounds familiar, I hope I'm wrong, but feel free to PM me if you think I can help.

Nolongeranxiouscarer how do I pm you please?
We live next to students and we have had a couple of loud ones but these ones are not loud. You can hear normal things like talking or doors closing. He has to have the tv on some sort of noise on to block it out. He will keep looking through the door or if I make a noise he gets jumpy. I just don’t know what to do.

I experienced the same as your DH and it was the worst time in my life. Neighbour's partner left home and she had all night parties which triggered something in me. I felt sick when I saw her, I was actually sick once, my heart raced, sobbed, couldn't eat and I wanted to be anywhere else. I was diagnosed with antenatal depression and given tablets which helped. I believe that it was a trigger for a much deeper anxiety about being pregnant again, could this be the case with him if they're not really that bad?

My heart goes out to your DH. I think he needs to see the GP for help, and having been in his shoes I think you should at least consider looking to live elsewhere if it continues (sorry, I know that's not what you want but I would really have given anything to walk away from my home). Being so desperately unhappy at home is awful. I hope you can figure it out and you both find a solution that works.

Aww thank you for your kind words. Luckily we only rent and our lease is up in April so we will be moving maybe a bit sooner if we can sort something out. He is on medication but he is so down. He barely eats, when it was really bad he didn’t eat for 3 days. He hides away in bed with white noise on to block everything out. He said he hates coming home and Just wants to run away. His family don’t live around here and he doesn’t have many friends. I feel so sorry for him and I try to help and support him every way possible. Hopefully the tablets will get into his system and things will improve a bit