I'm really not sure where to turn here and would really appreciate any help anyone can give. I'm desperate to help my little girl but I don't know what to do.
Backstory: separated from ex in Feb. Withheld contact of my dds (5 and 1) from him in June because I worried about the impact of his negative comments about me to the eldest. He went to court - which I expected - and got the arrangement I proposed, which was alt weekends. Final hearing in December.
Since contact resumed, my dd has been very unsettled. I am always positive about her going to see her dad and she is always keen to go and see him, but she is witness to some pretty icy handovers and instances whereby she is seeing me be locked out of the former marital home and having my belongings removed. I suspect that he continues to say nasty stuff about me but obviously can't prove anything and I don't want to probe her so don't ask that kind of questions.
More worryingly though, she has gone from never wetting herself to having an accident every single day. On nights when she comes back from seeing her dad, she shouts in her sleep, mostly just shouts and crying but I have heard her saying "no daddy" and "that hurts". Her behaviour is always worse when she gets back to me; she's not really a naughty girl but she's just.. I don't know... she ignores me more when she gets back from being with him. Unsettled is probably the best word to describe it. It's all such a mess.
I've tried so hard to keep things amicable so as to protect her from our conflict but my ex makes it impossible, and just the fact that we are fighting over the kids in court makes the situation incredibly unpleasant. Since I can't control what goes on when she is with him, I want to get her some help. I think she needs someone to talk to, maybe some treatment for anxiety or help processing her emotions and what she is being forced to deal with. I so desperately want to help her but where do I go? What does she need?
Any help would be gratefully received xx