someone tell me to get a grip

[dangermouseisace]

I've got depression...it's up and down but hasn't been 'the worst' for a year.

But I've noticed things that I'm worried are the start of a descent into the abyss, as it's how it happened last time. I'm hoping it's not and it's something physical. I'm usually permanently hungry but I can't be bothered and everything tastes of cardboard. I keep forgetting things...not little things...and it's being commented on by work and other people. I've got destructive thoughts but I think I've always got them. I'm finding it difficult to think straight and I am scared.

I think I'm so worried about getting really unwell again that it is probably making me ill- kind of a self fulfilling prophesy. I've been an anxious wreck for the past 24 hours, my chest hurts and I feel sick with fear. This is not helpful. I've been trying to distract myself but it's not working. I've got a Dr's appt to check for physical stuff next week.

Someone please tell me that I'm being daft and that it will be ok

Are you taking any antidepressants?

Yes, lots

Find other things to distract you.

I find that if i don't do stuff, however hard that is, I become more introspective.
Think about some things you can do that you can try and enjoy a bit, or used to enjoy and focus on that

Is there anything else going on in your life that could be making you feel this way? Work, relationship etc

What anti ds are you taking ? Do you have a cpn ??

Thanks for your replies. I'm on a combination of AD's thats meant to have excellent results. There's not really anything negative going on in my life, but it has been a shit few years...well, nearer a decade. My situation is better now though. I'm not concerned about the thoughts, it's more worry about ending up unable to think and it being out of my control, and the consequences of that for looking after the kids. I do have a (new, again) CPN. I think it's about time I was discharged though. I don't want to say too much in case anyone from services identifies me...

Has anyone had memory issues and appetite loss etc and it be something else apart from depression?

I'm trying to keep busy...but being told by work that maybe I should take some time off was a bit of a blow.