I have a diagnosis of eupd from 2013. I am not 100 sure its correct neither are people who know me.
I get down periods every so often mostly after given birth and a overdose at 15. I was stable on citalopram for well over a year nearly 2 until i was off them and by stable normal i felt normal.
Things got harder and i am back on them and have suicidal thoughts and one night went to but never comitted suicide.
On 20mg citalopram. Went to drs last week refered to cmht. Went back today as i was getting more suicidal thoughts and planning.
Dr looks up file and says oh you have eupd i do not think antidepressants will work.
I explained i felt like i was wasting his time but my friend said to come as she thinks i am ill (depressed).
He thinks i need to stop listening to friends. Life will always have stressors i need to find a away to deal with them. My friends cannot see his screen (says about being down with 1 manic episode over the last 10 years ) my friends know this and some have worked close with people with eupd.
He also asked when the last time i felt truly happy which happened to be on holiday. He said the nhs cannot provide them.
He says i am pychologically vunrable and will be for life.
I feel like ive wasted my time trying to get help. I do not know how things can get better he also said theres nothing he can do and refered to crisis team who said as i can keep my self safe atm need to wait for a cpn after a meeting which is a few weeks away. I have no idea how to stop thinking of ways to die and struggle to get up and do anything. Im hardly eating or sleeping lately.