Had enough

[Gettingitoutintheopen]

Name change for obvious reasons. Please don't feel you have to reply. Just need to tell 'someone'.

I've had enough of everything. I've got health problems but aren't getting anywhere with GP. Numerous tests and investigations but no further forward and GP seems to have given up.

I HATE my job. Have nothing to do and the days drag. I keep looking for something else but nothing out there.

I've no friends at all. Not one person I feel I could call to even just chat to.

My siblings hate me, sorry despise me (their words).

The only thing that keeps me going is my DH and DC.

I'm sitting writing this in tears cos I just can't do this any more.

I've never told anyone this but last year I stood in the kitchen with a knife in my hand ready to hurt myself and only stopped cos I didn't want DC to find me. DH was at work.

I put on a happy face but as soon as I'm on my own I'm unhappy, sad and tearful.

I don't know what to do

I'm really sorry you are feeling this way.

Would you be able to look into a completely different role for work? I'm not sure what you do, but I'm thinking even something like working in a supermarket would mean you had interactions with people, could make friends with the staff, as there would be a big number of people working there?

If you are feeling that down, maybe something simple and easy to do at work, but something you could be good at, would build your confidence up?

I hear you loud and clear.

You have an incredible amount to deal with - no wonder you feel so down. Does your employer provide any counselling? Does your doctors surgery provide any free counselling? Are you on ADs?

Please don't hurt yourself. My mother tried to kill herself when I was a child and I have had so much therapy to deal with the feelings resulting from her wanting to leave me.

I'm on ADs for menopausal symptoms and GP wants to increase the dose but I don't want to. I'd prefer to come off them altogether.

Work can provide counselling. Might look into that.

It's a struggle every day and I'm so tired