I don't know where I'm going in life

[AnyNamesLeftAtAll]

I've NC but I am a regular user
I'm 30 weeks pregnant with my third DC, I'm a single mum. After I had my second DC I had PND and was put on a strong dose of antidepressants (dosage started smaller and was upped gradually).
I was going through a really hard time with my then DP and he tried to be supportive but found it quite hard to cope with and I ended up pushing him away making me feel worse. I was self harming aswell.
I had a lot of therapy and got better in myself and now I'm pregnant again I'm scared of it happening again. DCs dad (same for all three DC) and I have maintained a close relationship/friendship regardless of the fact that we're not together.
Right now I feel so lonely and if I'm feeling like this now what are my chances of getting PND after birth?!

I'm constantly stressing at my two DC and I feel like a bad mum because I feel all I do is shout!
I just feel so so alone, I'm not sleeping because my mind is going 100miles an hour.

I just don't know what to do with myself, I feel like all I do is cry!!

Anyone? Just adds to the loneliness I guess

Go to the doc - you can get ante-natal depression. It may just be that your circumstances are stressful, but worth a visit to the doc I think.

However much "not together" you and your ex-P are, you are clearly together enough to conceive! - send him for the snip!

Be assured that Mums with less stress than you do shout at their children and feel overwhelmed sometimes You are not alone. But clearly this is a place where you do not want to be, so you need to get some help.

You have a lot going on OP break up, 2 children, another on the way, hormones all over the place - anyone would feel overwhelmed so don't beat yourself up.

How old are your DC? How do they feel about the break up? Are they being more challenging? I'm sure you are not a bad mum.

Can you get back on the therapy programme?

The baby was conceived through a bit of silliness, we shouldn't have slept together I know that.
DC are 5 and 4