I've had enough of this.

[NameChangingToPostThis]

Like the name says, I'm NC'ing for this. Even though no-one knows my name here, anxiety rules.

For background; severe agoraphobia and social anxiety to the extent that I can't go outside alone or use the phone. Crippling depression means I either don't feel anything or feel far too much and getting out of bed sometimes is impossible. Also, no children, so no need to worry there.

I frequently reach the point where I've had enough; where everything is just too much and coping becomes the priority. Coping isn't a life though.

I'm so done with feeling like all I do is just get through everyday. Like everyday is a repetition of the last, and I don't achieve anything other than being alive at the end of it. What is the point of anything when literally every day is just a repeat of the one before it?

I've had so much medical involvement; and it doesn't help. I'm scared that I'm actually beyond anyone actually being able to help at this point. I've tried with the CMHT before, and they haven't helped. I don't know what else I'm meant to do to make anything better.

I don't expect people here to have the answers. This is the only forum I really use (despite the lack of children), and so saying something felt like it would be ok. Please delete if it isn't.

I understand how you feel. I suffer severe depression & PTSD. For weeks there I could hardly get out of bed, only when it was dark & everyone was in doors would i remotely feel as if I could get up.
It was a dark time & place. Thankfully that spell of fog has lifted, although I am still suffering from severe lack of motivation to do anything although I can get up & dressed now.
Do you have any family to support you? Friends? Anyone to talk to?

I'm sorry you feel this way too, I hope the fog lifting has helped somewhat.

I have literally zero friends; I don't even use social media so I don't have acquaintances. I have family but not in the sense that I can talk to them; there aren't any close relationships. So, not really anyone to talk to.

Really, I feel like that's ok because I generally feel that I'm toxic and I don't want to infect anyone else with that.

It is quite a dark time. I know that it lifts sometimes but nothing really changes.

I've suffered with depression, anxiety and PTSD and understand how disabling feeling like this can vbe. I think rather than beyond help it is more likely that you just haven't found the right thing to help you yet. I found the first AD I tried didn't help at all, but the second one helped a bit. The councellor I saw helped but felt out of her depth andcrefered me to a psychologist, who made things much worse! I eventually saw an NLP therapist privately, who got rid af all my anxiety and PTSD symptoms in 2 sessions. It was just a case of finding the right thing for me.