Does this sound like depression?

[Farontothemaddingcrowd]

I'm snappy and irritable. Overwhelmed by lone parenting of 3 dc. Dd1 is behaving poorly at the moment and I cannot cope. I want to run away. I am trying my absolute best to be a good parent but no one is supporting me.
I've been scratching my arms in frustration and have scratched through the skin. I hit myself in the head. I cry lots all day. I don't want to go out really or see anyone much.
I think about suicide but I wouldn't do it because of the kids. It's more ideation but the thoughts are intrusive. I feel like everything is bleak.
I tried to get an appointment with my gp and can't get one. I am managing well at work and don't want to take time off if I can avoid it. I feel I just need some support.

It sounds like you are having a really hard time of things coping as best as you can.

Do you have any support through family and friends, what about getting some time for yourself (I know how that sounds, I have 3 DC myself so I laughed as I typed it out)

The company I work for have lots of support for times of need, do you know if your company do? Maybe make contact with a trusted manager or HR?

No harm in asking for help in RL as you have here, you should be surprised how many of us secretly suffer and are willing to help each other out

I don't have much practical support. Family are rubbish. I don't think there is anything at work. I'm just overwhelmed.

If you don't know what is at work it is worth an ask. Do you have some one you trust there? It doesn't have to be Management.

There are so many of us secretly suffering and willing to give each other support.

Feeling overwhelmed is horrible, I sympathise there

Is there a local branch of Home Start near you? They are very good indeed - try looking it up locally. They are ordinary parents who have volunteered for training to offer support to other parents going through a tough time.

I am very puzzled that you cannot get a GP appointment - I know it is hard to be assertive when you feel rubbish, but you must insist that they give you one.

I send you supportive thoughts during this bad patch in your life. It will pass.

You sound severely depressed to me and you must get some help. Do you have any family or a neighbour you can show this post to. Could you walk down to your GP's surgery and show someone the post - ask to speak with a nurse. You need some help and you have reached out here which is a big start but you need to reach out to someone again.
It will get better but you need some help.

My family are useless. You can get an appointment if you ring repeatedly at 8.30 am but my job means i can't do that. I'm making it into work every day so I am functioning to some extent. I don't want to take time off and I don't feel able to be assertive on the phone.

I just emailed homestart in my area. I know I must be low as I'd usually be too proud. I'd normally not want to tell the gp about how low I was in case they thought I couldn't look after my children. But I want to now as I need help.

Get your b12 levels tested before accepting any anti depressants

I have done. I used to be deficient but had injections and apparently they are fine now. My ferritin is low though at 7.

I am very sorry to hear of the difficulties you are having. It does sound as though you are sufferring from depression & anxiety. On what level, should be determined by a specialist. Your hitting & scratching are not good signs. Suicidal ideatiins are also a telling sign.
I have experience of severe depression & PTSD, so I understand how hard things must be for you, to a degree, but you are parenting alone also which must be even harder.
Get to a doctor asap, get an emergency appointment, even if not with own doc. Speak to them & seek support.
Feel free to message me for support, I use support from different platforms & it is beneficial to talk to others who understand. Take care.

When we're you last tested and why are t you receiving 3 monthly injections?

Go ask for a b12 test again.

I was tested maybe 3 weeks ago. I'm not sure why they didn't offer 3 monthly injections but I don't have the strength to question it.

Feeling flat today

Have you been to the doctors yet? How are you doing?

Thank you for thinking of me. Not yet. I'll try tomorrow. Feeling a bit rubbish

How are you doing today? Contacted doctors?

So sorry that you are feeling so down. It is so hard to have to push for help when you don't have the energy. I think the key is maybe getting someone to advocate on your behalf. Would perhaps getting in touch with Mind be helpful?:

here.

You could say that you need help with getting mh support from doctors but that it is hard to access and you need extra help with it?

I know it is not easy but try and take some time out just for yourself to make some calls (would someone at your work allow you to do this?). to get support for yourself. We all need help sometimes. And you can't go on looking after others and supporting your dc without accessing help yourself. It is a priority. You are a priority.

I got a repeat prescription of the anti depressants I was on a while ago and have a self referred assessment for therapy. All without talking to the gp so looks like I can bypass them. I'm ok. The engine light came on in my car this morning which is stressing me but I'm ok.

Well done Farontothemaddingcrowd glad you are ok and great you managed to bypass gp. Hope assessment goes well and that you can get the support you need and that ads kick in soon. Keep posting!