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Supporting DH

1 reply

itsausername · 21/09/2017 14:45

My DH has suffered from depression and anxiety since he was a teenager. He has taken different medication/counselling/cbt over the years. Its very much up and down and sometimes not an issue at all, although he suffers from anxiety consistently.

I feel we have a generally good attitude about it in that he will have this his whole life and we’ll just take it as it comes.

Around six months ago he was a passenger in a car accident while at work. His colleague claimed her insurance and they were both sent for initial assessment and then a medical. He said at the time that the medical was quite in depth. They asked a lot about his past depression; he was frustrated about dragging it all up as he was in a good place. Past medical records were requested prior to his medical.

The report arrived today while he’s at work (he asked me to open it so he could get an outline of the detail). It’s all pretty standard about the accident and circumstances; there’s also a section about his past medical history. I am reading it and just feel so bad that I’ve maybe minimised the severity of his depression and anxiety all these years.

I had felt I did a reasonable job in supporting him. I think just seeing it written down by a professional makes for stark reading. We have a great life together; he’s brilliant and much more than his illness. I’m now wondering if I’m guilty of glossing over the bad. I don’t really know what I’m asking - maybe any advice on how I can better support him if anyone here suffers from anxiety or depression?

p.s. he hasn’t exaggerated to get a payout or anything. The accident is fairly trivial in the grand scheme of things and he just stated the truth that he had some pain and was a bit anxious travelling for a while after.

OP posts:
NolongerAnxiousCarer · 22/09/2017 20:27

I think the best thing would be to ask him if he feels well enough supported and how best he feels you can support him. My DHs mental health also makes for stark reading, but as you say its only a part of the whole person and if you generally manage it well between you and have a good life together thats the main thing.

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